Post # 1
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Ok– this is purely a vent, but I figure it’s better to say it here than to blow up at some unsuspecting friend or family member who is just trying to be supportive…
Why the F— do people keep asking me “Are you excited yet?!?” What am I doing, riding a rollercoaster??? Why does getting married have to be “exciting”?!?
I get it, it’s a wonderful time in my life, and I’m happy and I’m enjoying it. I’m looking forward to being married, and most of all, I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my husband– but why does all of that need to be “exciting” for so many people.
I swear whenever someone asks me that question, my answer is always the same– “Not really, but I’m looking forward to it.” And you’d think I was telling them I was having cold feet and considering calling off the wedding or something!!! I actually had a friend tell me, “Oh well, that’s normal, just don’t do anything drastic…” WTF?!? Exactly what “drastic” thing is she expecting me to do? Why does everyone assume not being excited means that I’m having doubts negative feelings? There are a lot of emotions that I’m feeling these days, but excitement just isn’t one of them.
I’m probably overreacting about this, but it’s just really been getting to me lately. Part of it is because it bothers me when people over-use adjictives and dilute their meaning– such as “awesome”. I’m sorry, but I have to disagree, it is not “extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.” that Grandma is going to be in town a day early. And, no, I am not “very enthusieastic and eager” to get married. I am happy, and I am looking forward to it. Why isn’t that enough?
Post # 3
I’m kind of in your boat…I’m very much looking forward to the wedding reception + honeymoon but I’m just not an overly excitable person. Sometimes I feel like my laid-back, calm demeanor makes people think I’m not as happy as I should be. It’s really just how I am.
Post # 4
Ah, don’t worry. I was never the super enthusiastic YAY WEDDINGS I HEART BEING A BRIDAL PRINCESS type of girl. :p The last month or so leading up to the wedding, my coworkers would be like “Are you excited??” and my default response was “I’m so ready for this to be over and be married already.” You’re not alone!
Post # 5
I felt your pain so accutely that I eloped and didn’t even get engaged because I feared exactly what you are describing! God help me when I’m pregnant…I can’t hide that! The good news is that you only have two weeks!
Post # 6
@misspeanut: Your response is great!
People are just trying to how ask how wedding planning is going. Just like someone might as “Are excited for your vacation”. I don’t think anyone who asks is expecting you to be off the wall about it. Try not to let it bother you, I think most people are just trying to ask about the wedding in general.
Post # 7
Since we did everything ourselves, I was absolutely more nervous/anxious about things going smoothly then I was excited (not to mention, I HATE being the center of attention).
People ask stupid questions like “are you excited yet” because they want to show an interest, but have no idea what to say.
While it is like nails on a chalkboard, help them out and just say “yep, it is going to be a great time” and carry on with your life. If you glare at them and say something sarcastic, they are going to think you are an ungratious bridzilla.
Post # 8
I give this rant 2 thumbs up!
People actually look at me in horror when I say NO.
I’m happy to be getting married. Can’t wait until I’m married. So over planning a wedding. I ran into a friend who is getting married 2 weeks after me and she feels the same way.
You were all up in my mind with this one.
Post # 9
Ha! I am totally with you on this one. Same exact thing.
I also hate: “Tell me the story of you got engaged!” to which I respond, “He asked me to marry him, gave me a ring, and I said yes.”
I also hate: “How is the planning going?” to which I think, “Umm… do you REALLY want to hear about dress regret and my obsessive search for the perfect garter? About not being able to find a ceremony site and about my Dad backing out on his offer to help pay for the wedding? Do you REALLY want to hear about our reception venue’s policy to nickel and dime clients until they breathe their final breath? Really?” But I just say, “good.”
Post # 10
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU. I am constantly getting “Are you excited?!” I’m still further out than you and I have a lot going on before the wedding (moving, travelling for work), so I usually just say “Yes, but I have so much going on before the wedding that I’m thinking mostly about those things right now!”
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
@ieatunicorns: You’ve got a point, except more than 1/2 these people start by asking how the plannings going, and how things are in general, and I answer those, then the follow up is “are you getting excited yet?” And I swear, I must be the most unexcited bride out there because they all then act like I’m about to call the whole thing off.
@KH: I’m not rude to them, but I’m not going to lie either– I don’t feel like I should have to fake emotions just to make someone else feel better about the question they ask. I never answer sarcastically, I tell them the truth. No, I’m not excited. I am looking forward to the experience and married life afterward.
@Beckster329: HAHA that’s where I was about a year ago. We had a long engagement on purpose because we knew we had a lot of other things to get done first; up until about a month ago I always had something more pressing than the wedding on my mind, it’s only been in the past few weeks that it’s moved it’s way to the top of my priority list.
I’m glad I’m not alone– I feel bad, but I’ve almost become anti-social about the whole thing, when my phone rings and it’s someone on the guest list I hesitate to answer because I know their first question will be about the wedding.