- 5 years ago
Let’s start by clarifying, this is NOT about money. We are very well off financially.
It is a second wedding for both of us. Neither of us a fans or the traditional wedding pagentry, but were coerced into having the whole ball of wax the first time because our families/spouses insisted. I don’t want a circus. I want a celebration. I like a party as much as the next person.
We have the same vision for our day. Small, with people we love. A BBQ. Casual summer attire. Wine and beer only. No speeches. But that vision is being eroded incrementally.
I have already conceeded the ceremony. I would have liked 20 people or less, but it will be 40.
Now the reception is ballooning. We sit at about 150 people, 29 under 12.
My mother is horrified there is only beer and wine. She wants me to hire her 3rd cousin for catering. Those two things I have simply ignored.
Now she is saying that I have to send invitations +1. For ‘adult’ children who live at home I don’t feel should be obligated. By adult I mean 18-20. That could add 6 people I don’t even know. Bad enough I could pass some of my cousins’ spouces on the street and not know them.
And it’s MY family with 26 of the 29 kids under 12. Thing is, I would love to have two of my friends bring their kids. I know them, they know me, my son has babysat them. That would be 3 very well behaved kids. I like kids. Really.
Can I get away with this?
Saying no guests?
Saying no kids, but let my friends know their kids are welcome? They won’t tell my cousins.
AND HEY, if you can think of a way for me to have the ceremony smaller, which would mean not having my siblings and grandparents, let me know.