Post # 1
In all honesty I’ve been going back and forth with this one wondering if anyone will REALLY miss them. When I go to weddings, honestly I don’t want to take something home with the bride and grooms name and wedding date on it because it just seems like a piece of something I’m NEVER going to use or look at. I’d rather the memory of sharing the day with them. With that said, we’ve been cutting unnecessary expenses like flowers for the men and corsages for the moms. We don’t feel they’re necessary and no one will notice or care they’re missing. Instead the guys will have pocket squares and our moms just don’t care if they miss out of the 1980’s prom flowers. Theres other things we have cut that we don’t see as necessary and know no one will miss because we wouldn’t notice if they were gone.
I also don’t want a candy buffet or to give my guests something they don’t care about. We considered boxes of chocolates from a local company but then is it really worth the $350+ it would cost? Not in my mind, especially after such a large meal and cake!
What are your thoughts on not giving favors?
Post # 3
We’re not giving favors and I’m not the least bit worried about it.
A cute favor I have seen is a scratch lottery ticket. You figure it’s $1/each and they may win big (I won $30…that’s why I love the idea so much).
Post # 4
You don’t have to do favours at all. And honestly, most people don’t miss them.
Post # 5
I decided to have open bar and a desert buffet instead of giving out favors. I wanted to spend that money to ensure that my guests didn’t want for a thing while they were at our wedding.
Post # 6
personally i’m not crazy about favors at weddings. it’s usually something i don’t want or won’t keep, so it seems really unnessecary. i wouldn’t notice if you didn’t do them at all. actually, now that i think about it, the most recent wedding i went to did not have favors, and nobody even mentioned it.
we’re not doing them, either. don’t sweat it
Post # 7
@futuremjm: The last wedding I was at apparently had a candy buffet and no one ever noticed it or saw it. Most of the candy went uneaten and filled a trash can :/ And the last thing I want is a shot glass with someones name and wedding date on it because while its nice of them to spend the money, I don’t need/want it and I’d rather they save their money for themselves. NO FAVORS IT IS!
Post # 8
during the planning, my dad was super anti-favors and tried to talk me out of it. i ended up diy-ing ours–and it was a big hit–but i do actually agree with him in a lot of cases in that if it isn’t something personal or represent something really specific about the couple, it isn’t worth it. like, it’s better to do nothing at all than to do it just for the sake of having a favor that means nothing about the couple and is something folks won’t care about taking home or that will just sit around gathering dust after the wedding.
so like, for us, i made a cookie mix inside a mason jar with a hand-written recipe for baking them. my hubby has a food blog about our home-cooked meals, so a lot of the toasts and such had to do with our time together in the kitchen. also, and i bet no one else actually caught this, but the cookies also fit with our signature cocktail–it was a lemon-rosemary shortbread recipe, and we had lemon-basiltinis as our drink. so for us, it was personal and it worked. but if i hadn’t thought of that, i don’t think we would have done anything.
Post # 9
You could do something useful and w/o a date on it. I made jam from our local strawberries…about $1.25/jar and the jars are reusable. Mine say “thank you” which is the spirit in which they were given…to celebrate our guests, not us. My peeps (who are travelling a long way to be with us) are much more into all of the traditional stuff than I am, and so I did it for their enjoyment.
Re: corsages for moms, my mom would feel really hurt and disrespected to not have one at the wedding. (It’s not like we’d spend our last grocery money to give them to her.) Each set of guests is going to be different for what they see as the normal level of consideration/politeness in receiving them. You know your own crowd better than we do.
Post # 10
I agree with everyone in that small favors aren’t an essential part of the wedding. What we’re doing is making a donation to a charity close to our hearts (Smile Train)and then including a card with the menu informing the guests of this.
Post # 11
We’re also doing a donation as our favor, and we’re giving to the ASPCA. We have both had adopted dogs all our lives, and our pup is from a rescue shelter, so we decided early on that rather than give favors, we would make a donation.
Post # 12
I don’t really feel the need to provide favors (but bravo to those who do!). So I reached a happy medium. I’m going to do something similar to this. For 80 guests I was able to get two packs of Ferrero Rocher chocolates from BJs for $20, and will be making up small labels with our names and “Thank You” to be set at each place setting. It will be very affordable, but also hopefully will convey to our guests how happy we are to have them join us on our day.
Post # 13
We’re also not giving favours. My Mother-In-Law is up in arms about it but I really don’t care. She is not footing a single penny of the bill, therefore has no say.
If anything we all should be PROUD we are doing away with this stupid custom. Who the ‘eff’ started this anyway? It sounds more suited to a kid’s b’day party so that every kid gets to feel ‘special’ and not just the b’day child. Don’t guests feel special enough by the amazing dinner and dancing they are receving for free? Why do we have to package silly little favours to make this special?
Post # 14
We’re not doing favors. And, as I’ve posted to other brides nervous about their choice to forgo favors, Miss Manners totally approves:
Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention. You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion.
Post # 15
we’re skipping them. My Future Brother-In-Law gave these huge diamond paperweights engraved with each guests name, and many people left them behind. They’re nice but what are we going to do with a paperweight? I just have them on a shelf.
We were thinking of giving out cookies, since my favorite favors involve food, but we decided to forgo favers all together and have a late night pizza buffet instead. So im sure your guest wont even notice no favors.
Post # 16
Favors are totally optional. I have never gotten a favor at a wedding, and probably wouldn’t take one unless it was something I could use that was not personalized.