(Closed) Do I have to give up my dream wedding date?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
169 posts
Blushing bee

You’re not being a brat but it would put Future Sister-In-Law and her boyfriend in a sticky situation. I’d try to think of a way to compromise… Can you gt married 5/28/17? Can you plan your bridal shower or other wedding event that date instead? Get married on your half-year date (11/28/16)? etc…

Post # 3
648 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think you’re fine keeping it, but I also wouldn’t worry too much about it at the moment since you’re not planning a wedding at the moment!  But no, I wouldn’t give up my date for what is essentially a friend of a friend.

Post # 4
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Keep the date, who cares. Lots of people will be getting married on every Saturday May- October. The over lap insignificant. Future Sister-In-Law will have to miss her friends wedding, but that stuff happens. 

Post # 5
752 posts
Busy bee

I’d keep my date. Tell Future Sister-In-Law that whichever wedding she goes to is fine by you – – and mean it. This takes the pressure off of her and will lead to a better relationship down the line. If you force her to choose your wedding, you will lose. I wouldn’t wait or change the date. I’d keep it as is. 

Post # 6
335 posts
Helper bee

What does your SO think? Would he be okay with potentially not having his sister there if she commits to the other wedding first and doesn’t wanna back out? Given its less than a year away I imagine if she is being askEd to be a bridesmaid, it would be soon. And if she accepts it would be hard on her to back out of it when receiving an invitation to your wedding, even if it is her brothers. It will put his sister in a bad position. I would talk to your SO and Future Sister-In-Law. give her a heads up so she can make the decision if/when she’s asked to be a bridesmaid in the other wedding. 

Post # 7
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

If your Future Sister-In-Law does get asked to be a bridesmaid in that other wedding and accepts, you would be putting her in a position where she’d have to back out on that bride, potentially damaging that friendship. 

I know you guys aren’t officially engaged, but if you are certain you want to get married in that specific date, maybe give her a heads up and she can avoid that potential awkward situation.

Post # 8
106 posts
Blushing bee

You could always elope and get officially married on that date and have a wedding later in the year/ the following year? 28th May 2017 is a Sunday so it’s still a day off for everyone even if its not the Saturday you hoped for?

Post # 9
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
jbomb18:  I am actually going to go against the grain here –  I think it’s kind of a jerky move. You know she has the wedding of a friend who she’s so close to that she’s going to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You are essentially asking her to pick between her brother and her friend and I think thats a not so nice place to put her in. There are plenty of other Saturday’s in May – sure, it won’t be your exact date, but why not do the weekend before/after? It truly won’t matter. 

How does your SO feel about this? If my DH had wanted a wedding date where my sister already had previously plans, I would have said absolutely not. 

I just think this is a bad idea all around – you are going to make someone upset (FI or FSIL) and that’s a bad way to start the marriage. 

Post # 13
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I think you should definitely wait. I know you two are close, and will get married, but talking about weddings to guys too soon isn’t always the best choice. You may change your mind too, as things progress once getting engaged. I know you are dead set on that day now, but things may change as you start to plan more.

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