Post # 1
I am new to the boards here – I am recently engaged as of Thanksgiving. So, my SO and I are starting to make the prelim plans for the wedding and we are on the topic of the wedding party. I have compiled a list of 7 girls who I love all equally. I am having a hard time picking one to be the maid of honor. All 7 girls at one point in my life were my BEST friend. For example, one was my best friend in high school – but in college we grew apart in the sense that we didn’t see each otehr everyday but obviously still remaied good friends. I then was close doing day to day things with my college roommate. She is another one of my bridesmaids. But since graduating college we aren’t as close as we used to be back in college. So, I honestly feel like my friend who I’m closest with now is simply because she lives down the street from me. But isn’t necessarily my very best friend ever. I’m really torn. I feel like it if pick one over any of the others they might be offended. So, the question is – Do I have to pick a Maid of Honor at all? My fiance has voiced his opinion and said who he thinks I should have as Maid/Matron of Honor. But, she lives several states away and I don’t want her to feel obligated to fly here just so she feels like she is helping enough.
My mother is already set on throwing my bridal shower. So, I don’t think I’d miss out on having the Maid/Matron of Honor plan that. But, if I don’t pick a Maid/Matron of Honor who will give a speech at the wedding? and How do I determine who stands where in line?
To make matters more complicated – My fiance has picked 2 best men. Does this make things even more uneven? HELP! haha
Post # 3
In my mind, a maid of honour is someone who signs the paperwork for you. (My personal situation is a bit different in that my Maid/Matron of Honor is also my best friend and that’s part of the reason I chose her.) I’m a pretty practical person, and honestly – that’s all it is. It’s just someone who signs the paper for you. At a wedding I recently went to, the “best man” didn’t give the speech, the bride’s brother did – so that proves that you don’t need to have a “certain” person give the speech.
If I were you I’d ‘divvy up’ the stereotypical Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities – have one person sign the papers, another give the speech, and maybe another stand next to you. Play to your girls strengths – if one is good at writing and/or speaking, she can do the speech. If one is someone whose presence really calms you, have her stand next to you. (As for the remaining order, Fiance and I are literally drawing straws so that’s an idea LOL. I always say ‘someone ahs to come first, someone has to come second, someone has to come last, etc. but it doesn’t mean anything.) If a few girls lvoe planning stuff, have them plan your bachelorette… you see what I’m getting at?
As for the title – you can call them all bridesmaids. And if your Fiance has two ‘best men’, that’s cool too. Lots of people have lopsided parties, and I’m sure that best man 1 can walk with a bridesmaid and best man 2 can walk with another.
Post # 4
Don’t worry about the titles too much, if you love them all don’t worry about titling one maid of honor. I’m having 2 MOHS and a bridesmaid, My Fiance is having 1 best man and 2 groomsmen. In the big scheme of things, it won’t really matter who was given the title. When it comes to order of standing you can just do it by height, or who you like walking down the aisle together. Don’t stress, its your wedding, you can have it however you like it 🙂