(Closed) Do I have to hyphenate?

posted 6 years ago in Names
  • poll: Which last name should I go for when getting it done legally?
    Maiden Name-Married Name : (4 votes)
    27 %
    Maiden Name Married Name : (7 votes)
    47 %
    Maiden Name Only : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Married Name Only : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Other: Please explain.... : (2 votes)
    13 %
    IDK! I am having a similar argument with my significant other. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    While I think legally you could do this, I think it would be a logistical nightmare. A lot of companies that you do business with every day will not have a computer system that supports spaces in names. So there’s no telling what’s going to happen with that “extra” name.  It might all get smooshed together, it might end up with the first-last (maiden) name being moved to the middle name, it might end up with one or the other last name being dropped, it might end up a dozen different ways.  

    How big a hassle this is depends on a lot of stuff but I can imagine it being a real pain to book airline tickets, especially through a third party site like Orbitz, because the airline industry as a whole has some really antiquated computer systems. Visitors from other countries where it’s common to have two middle names often complain that their airline tickets are either a huge pain to book or end up mangled. And the mangled names make for all sorts of fun with the TSA.

    Post # 5
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee

    I could be wrong but I think that when you legally change your name, you don’t have to use it in everyday situations.  I only hyphenated after our son was born, and never went by the 12-letter long addition to my surname anywhere  other than on legal documents.  Not sure whether your Fiance is on board with that compromise or not, but run it past him.  The other option is to hyphenate both your names for both of you? I know most guys don’t want to do that but, hey,  boys are dumb.

    Maybe if men had to deal with changing their names they’d start to understand that it makes some of us feel as though we’re being treated as chattel. And no, I’m not changing my name this time around in any way, shape, or form 😉

    Post # 6
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think I’ve seen any company that wouldn’t support 13 characters, but the length isn’t the issue. It’s the blank space in the middle that might be a problem, and that all depends on the way the company designed their customer databases.  When you design a database, you have to tell it what kind of data will go into each field, for example you’d design a “zip code” field to only accept numbers, and a “postal code” field to accept a mix of numbers and letters. One of the choices the designer has is whether or not to accept blank spaces mixed in with the numbers. And that is purely up to the company. I would expect it to have a lot of problem potential though.

    The other issue is that really all your “stuff” should match. Your credit card should match your drivers license which should match your Marriott account, and so forth.  I go by my middle name professionally and when I travel for work, I have to be really fussy with my corporate travel desk; if they book a hotel or flight as I appear in my corporate directory, it doesn’t match my ID, and while I’ve always caught and sorted the airline tickets, I’ve missed a few hotel bookings, and the hotels are not keen on letting you check in when your name doesn’t match the reservation.  I’ve had various websites reject my credit card when the name on my account doesn’t match the name on my card (this seems to be a lot more strict when purchasing from an overseas web store but Ticketmaster gets funny about this sometimes too) and I’ve had problems getting my airline miles and hotel points when there’s a mismatch between the booking name and the name on my account.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Well, I’m in Canada, so maybe not as situation-specific as you want… but I kept my maiden name as write it in the “middle name” section of forms along with my middlle name.  The aren’t my real names, but they’re similar:

    Terry Ann Ethans Lord

    I go by Terry Lord in all social and business situations.  My signature is T. Lord.  My bills come addressed to Terry Lord.  Only stuff like my passport, driver’s licence etc… have my full name, and whether Ethans appears as a middle name, or as a double-barrelled last name, depends on their system capabilities.  For example, our Driver and Vehicle Licensing Dept does not have a function for 2 middle names, so they moved it over to the last name.  My bank DOES have room for 2, so they have it recorded as a second middle name.

    Lots of people have two first or two middle names (Laura Lee, Jo Anne, etc…) so it shouldn’t be THAT hard to accomodate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    I recommend changing your MIDDLE name, and adding your maiden name to it. 

    So, for example, if you’re borh Jane Mary Smith, and you marry John Michael Jones… 

     

    Your married name could be Jane Mary-Smith Jones. 

    That way legally, you took his name, and you don’t have a mile long last name, but your maiden name is still part of your legal name and can be used whenever you want. 

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