(Closed) Do I have to Include my Sister in the Bridal Party? Unique Situation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Nope. No way. She should be honored to get to do ANYTHING and your mother should back off. Just because mom wants all the kiddos to get along doesn’t make it reality. If my sister was saying crap like that, ha. Not happening. You can sit in the family section, sis. I mean think about it, if what you’re saying is she would be part of the bridesmaids, getting ready with your fiancee… that would be awkward and potentially not a good thing at all.

Post # 4
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Nope. I wouldn’t ask her. In fact, if my SO asked me to have his sister in my wedding party after she treated me that way I’d be horrified. Unless your mom is paying for the wedding she can’t really make demands. If you start catering to make people happy now, it’ll never end and your wedding will turn into something that is no longer even a representation of you. Put your foot down.

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t ask her to be in the wedding party and I don’t think you have to include her in it at all. I’m sure your mom is trying to think of how to keep you two together without all of the fighting. Maybe she thinks that having her in the party might help somehow. Even if that is the case I don’t think having her in your party would be fair or supportive of your Fiance. Have you talked to her about it? It might cause a lot of undue stress for both of you on your wedding day especially if your Fiance might be feeling rejected by your sister for no reason.

 

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Nope.. that heffa would be lucky to get an invite.  I definitely wouldn’t have her in the bridal party.  She sounds like a disrespectful brat.  I wouldn’t even want to deal with her in the wedding process.  As a guest, all she has to do is show up and sit with the family… and that’s all I would trust her to do, based on what you’ve told us.  Hope it all works out for you!

Post # 7
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

nope i wouldnt have her in the bridal party at all!! doubt she’d even be trusted as a normal guest!!

Post # 8
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

When you first mentioned your sister’s behavior I assumed that she was 13, not 33!

I think if she will ruin your big day that it would be best not to include her because you don’t want your new bride crying on her wedding day because your sister is giving off bad vibes or saying something nasty.

You better think hard about how much you should include her in the wedding because top priority is that you don’t want your wild card sister ruining your day.

Post # 9
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Family drama at weddings is a nightmare and it can ruin your whole day.  Have you read Mrs. Socks’ experience?  I was there as a bridesmaid. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.  I can’t tell you how much I’m stressing this, but I really think you should have it out with your sister before the wedding, because weddings are where people tend to feel the most emotional, and it sounds like your sister is very jealous of your future wife-and so a day where almost everything is focused on her will probably drive your sister nuts-like it did to Mr. Socks’ sister who had the exact same issue.  She’ll draw attention to herself and start causing problems to lash out.  You need to talk to her before the wedding and tell her that you feel she’s being insencere and that you’re worried about inviting her to the wedding because you don’t want anything but happiness and smiling faces there.  Then ask her outright if she can do that and really be happy for you.  If she can, then she’ll give your FW a real apology and she’ll behave at the wedding.  If she can’t, then she’ll blow up at you right then and there, before the wedding, and your response is clearly not to invit her at all.

Post # 10
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t include her at all. I may invite her to the party, but I wouldn’t give her any kind of honorable role. 

Post # 11
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I defintely wouldn’t. Her behavior is inexcusable and her lack of apology all these months later, no way. I had conversation today with my cousin and we both agreed on something. Many times in our families cause further conflict because they excuse certain family members for their intolerable behavior. Those of us that are on the receiving end of the crazy are always expected to act like nothing happened. The offenders aren’t held accountable and when we try to set up some boundries for ourselves, we are called to task. Its so unfair.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you’ve been generous enough by inviting her AND allowing her to do a reading. You don’t HAVE to put her in the bridal party, it’s not compulsary, and I don’t think she deserves it either after the way she’s behaved.

Post # 12
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Double post

The topic ‘Do I have to Include my Sister in the Bridal Party? Unique Situation’ is closed to new replies.

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