Post # 1
Ok, so this whole story begins this Christmas 2010. On Christmas DAY morning, my sister and I got into an arguement over something that happened christmas eve. In the middle of the arguement my sister screams, ” Why don’t you ask you B**ch wife” six (6) times from the top of the steps. My fiance was downstairs and could hear the whole thing. She began to cry hysterically and called her parents. My sister had no reason to do this, as i was in an argument with her that didn’t even involve my fiance. I sat down with my sister this past february and had a long discussion. I gave her my fiances number and she agreed to call and apologize. She didn’t. I asked her repeatedly the past four months and she still didn’t. This past weekend was my cousins wedding. During the wedding, my sister came up to my fiance and stated this apology, “sorry for christmas, hug.” Then got up and walked away. Incredibly insincere. My fiance and I weren’t even going to invite her to the wedding, but decided now that we would. We even decided to have her read some scripture, which we feel is awful generous. My mom says we HAVE to put her in our wedding party, but I don’t feel that she can be trusted and still feel that my fiance and I deserve more respect and a sincere apology. If you were in this situation, would you want your sister in your bridal party? Also, my sister and I haven’t gotten along for ~3 years now. She’s turning 33 this year and is 9 years older than me, but has never acted like a big sis.
Post # 3
Nope. No way. She should be honored to get to do ANYTHING and your mother should back off. Just because mom wants all the kiddos to get along doesn’t make it reality. If my sister was saying crap like that, ha. Not happening. You can sit in the family section, sis. I mean think about it, if what you’re saying is she would be part of the bridesmaids, getting ready with your fiancee… that would be awkward and potentially not a good thing at all.
Post # 4
Nope. I wouldn’t ask her. In fact, if my SO asked me to have his sister in my wedding party after she treated me that way I’d be horrified. Unless your mom is paying for the wedding she can’t really make demands. If you start catering to make people happy now, it’ll never end and your wedding will turn into something that is no longer even a representation of you. Put your foot down.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t ask her to be in the wedding party and I don’t think you have to include her in it at all. I’m sure your mom is trying to think of how to keep you two together without all of the fighting. Maybe she thinks that having her in the party might help somehow. Even if that is the case I don’t think having her in your party would be fair or supportive of your Fiance. Have you talked to her about it? It might cause a lot of undue stress for both of you on your wedding day especially if your Fiance might be feeling rejected by your sister for no reason.
Post # 6
Nope.. that heffa would be lucky to get an invite. I definitely wouldn’t have her in the bridal party. She sounds like a disrespectful brat. I wouldn’t even want to deal with her in the wedding process. As a guest, all she has to do is show up and sit with the family… and that’s all I would trust her to do, based on what you’ve told us. Hope it all works out for you!
Post # 7
nope i wouldnt have her in the bridal party at all!! doubt she’d even be trusted as a normal guest!!
Post # 8
When you first mentioned your sister’s behavior I assumed that she was 13, not 33!
I think if she will ruin your big day that it would be best not to include her because you don’t want your new bride crying on her wedding day because your sister is giving off bad vibes or saying something nasty.
You better think hard about how much you should include her in the wedding because top priority is that you don’t want your wild card sister ruining your day.
Post # 9
Family drama at weddings is a nightmare and it can ruin your whole day. Have you read Mrs. Socks’ experience? I was there as a bridesmaid. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t tell you how much I’m stressing this, but I really think you should have it out with your sister before the wedding, because weddings are where people tend to feel the most emotional, and it sounds like your sister is very jealous of your future wife-and so a day where almost everything is focused on her will probably drive your sister nuts-like it did to Mr. Socks’ sister who had the exact same issue. She’ll draw attention to herself and start causing problems to lash out. You need to talk to her before the wedding and tell her that you feel she’s being insencere and that you’re worried about inviting her to the wedding because you don’t want anything but happiness and smiling faces there. Then ask her outright if she can do that and really be happy for you. If she can, then she’ll give your FW a real apology and she’ll behave at the wedding. If she can’t, then she’ll blow up at you right then and there, before the wedding, and your response is clearly not to invit her at all.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t include her at all. I may invite her to the party, but I wouldn’t give her any kind of honorable role.
Post # 11
I defintely wouldn’t. Her behavior is inexcusable and her lack of apology all these months later, no way. I had conversation today with my cousin and we both agreed on something. Many times in our families cause further conflict because they excuse certain family members for their intolerable behavior. Those of us that are on the receiving end of the crazy are always expected to act like nothing happened. The offenders aren’t held accountable and when we try to set up some boundries for ourselves, we are called to task. Its so unfair.
Post # 12
I think you’ve been generous enough by inviting her AND allowing her to do a reading. You don’t HAVE to put her in the bridal party, it’s not compulsary, and I don’t think she deserves it either after the way she’s behaved.