Post # 1
My soon-to-be husband and I were invited to the wedding of our neighbor’s daughter. She is younger and wanted a large wedding. We went, not because we are particularly close to her (we had never even met the groom) but because it was such an important day for her parents.
Now that we are at the point in our planning we have to decide who we want to invite. We are planning a small wedding (approximately 50 -60 people).
If we invite our neighbors, do we also have to invite the daughter and her new husband? How about our neighbor’s son and his family, who has a son the same age as our son, and who only lives 4 miles down the road (in a very small town), and we also know only as well as we know their daughter?
Please help. We will invite them all if that is what proper etiquette dictates.
Post # 3
Nope, wedding invites are not tit for tat, feel no shame about excluding anyone you hardly know from your intimate wedding!
Post # 4
@Summer-Bride: You don’t have to invite them just because you went to their daughter’s wedding.
- invite just the parents if you’re having an adults only reception and their kids are under your cutoff age (I know this doesn’t apply to this situation but you might have other potential guests whom this applies to)
- invite the parents if their kids are adults (since they’re married, each kid and their spouse is their own social unit, and the parents return to being a 2 person social unit)
- invite the parents, the daughter and her husband and not the son and his wife, since they are three separate social units. The son and his wife might be a little upset about this, but they’re friends not family so you really don’t have to do all or nothing.
- Invite half of a couple (the neighbor and not his wife, the neighbors and their son and daughter but not their spouses ect.). Married couples, engaged couples, and couples who are living together have to be invited together. It is a nice gesture to invite boyfriends/girlfriends or allow plus ones for guests who haven’t been in a relationship long, but its not required.
Post # 5
I don’t know what “etiquitte” says, but I would not feel obligated to invite them. They wanted a large wedding, so they invited many of their social circles. You choose to have a small wedding, allowing you to only invite your closest circle of friends/family. I would just talk to the parents about it, and mention that “we really are looking forward to haveing a very small, intimate wedding. I feel badly becasue we do not have enough room to invite your son and daughter”. At least they will know WHY you are not inviting them.