- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
So, my bachelorette party is coming up in a couple weeks, and my Maid/Matron of Honor and I worked together on the invite list. Fi and I are getting married far far away in a small ceremony, so only two girlfriends are making the trip. Therefore, 90% of the people coming to the b-party are not wedding invitees, and they are all fine with that and are excited to get down and party!
Here’s the trouble: our social circle are pretty much all members of a certain club. Sort of like those adult intramural softball or kickball clubs. We love these people, they love Fi and I, and they are a blast to hang out with, so Maid/Matron of Honor is inviting as many of women from our crew as possible for a night out at bars — the more the merrier.
Except for one girl. I can’t stand her. She’s toxic and horrible. She has terrible insecurity issues, and she handles this by alternately fishing for compliments by being terrible things about herself, and talking crap about everyone around her to make herself feel better. At one point not too long ago, she had some sort of emotional breakdown and turned on me, lashing out and saying rude things about me to anyone who would listen, and unfriending me on facebook (not that I really cared, but it was definitely an act of aggression friendship-wise). I wrote her several long emails asking what was wrong, and she never said a word. A few days later, she re-friended me and has acted like all is well in the world, like it all never happened. She even hosted a party and when Fi and I didn’t come, she asked me why. I was like, really? You don’t know why I didn’t come to your party? Do you have amnesia or something?!!
So I don’t want her at my bachelorette party. She’s also getting married several months after me and Fi, and I don’t want to listen to her trying to hijack everything I say. (“Oh, you’re excited for your honeymoon? I wish I could go on a honeymoon, but I can’t afford it!” “Oh, your dress looks so great! I wish I was a skinny as you so I could look good too but instead I’m just going to look fat!” [waits for compliment about how she will certainly look lovely]). She hardly drinks and gets really judgy about it; she has a generally negative attitude about her life; she takes everything personally and has been known to start crying and run to the parking lot and wait for someone to come comfort her. In short, she’s no fun at all.
So why would I even consider inviting her? Because we hang out with all the same people. All the people she considers friends are coming to my party. She will find out about it. She will be mad that she wasn’t invited. She will probably make drama over it. And I will have to deal with this drama.
Nevertheless, I’d rather have a wonderful b-party WITHOUT her and then deal with the drama later (perhaps it’s time to remind her that HER BEHAVIOR is what caused all this!) than have her there being her usual b-word self. Even if she couldn’t make it, I don’t want to invite her because I don’t believe in rewarding people who have never apologized for doing something sh*tty.
What do you guys think? My mind’s fairly made up at this point, but it’s always a good idea to see if anyone thinks I’m a total monster for doing this, in case I should rethink!