(Closed) Do i have to invite him to rehearsal dinner?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

A rehearsal dinner is not a good place to make your negative feelings about anyone known…

Post # 4
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Not all couples do rings when they get engaged. 

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Yes, you should invite him. It’s not your place to judge their relationship and your rehearsal dinner is not the place to make your distaste for him known. If you don’t want him there that bad then you need to not invite any non-family, non-bridal-party Out of Town geusts and any SOs of family and bridal party. Same rule for everyone.

Post # 8
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@from_Miss_to_Mrs:  It sucks, I know…but no matter how you handle it, not inviting him is going to reflect badly on you, do the gracious thing and invite him, one person can’t sink a whole evening, don’t give him that kind of power.

Post # 10
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It sounds like you’re going to keep pressing this (“but … but …”) until someone gives you the answer you want to hear…

Technically, no, you don’t have to invite him. There’s just no gracious way not to. You already know that it’s going to upset your Future Sister-In-Law no matter what, right?, and that she and at least some of the rest of the family are going to think you’re rude … and their opinions, not ours, are the ones that count. They’re the people you’ll have to deal with as family from that point onward.

Post # 11
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The rehearsal dinner is for immediate family (parents and siblings) and the bridal party.  If any of those people has a husband, wife, finace, SO, boyfriend, girlfriend, live-in partner, or any other significant person who they consider themselves in a relationship with, you must invite them.  As a couple, they are a social unit, and should be treated as such.

Post # 12
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Are you not inviting SOs as a rule or are the just no others to consider anyway?

I really do feel there’s no way to politely not allow him to come. You can not directly invite him, I suppose, but when she asks tell her that he can come and just hope she never asks… (which is still not very polite but might get you out of directly addressing the situation… might)

Post # 13
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think if you aren’t including any sO’s from your siblings or bridal party, then you can justify not inviting him. If the only SO that will not be invited is this girl’s then that would be pretty tacky and rude.

Post # 14
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Is this one thing honestly worth possibly derailing the entire evening and catapulting your nearing nuptuals into a battlefield of drama and character assasination?  No matter how you do this, there is no winning, only varying degrees of loss….you want to take the rehearsal dinner stand, go ahead, but be prepared for it to go Waterloo on your ass.

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