(Closed) do i have to invite him?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Eh…..nah.  No way!  How close are you to the friend?

Post # 4
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t invite him. Plus, your friend isn’t even a close friend so why worry. If your friend gets offended, oh well they won’t show up and then you really have nothing to worry about.

Post # 6
Member
7 posts
Newbee

HELL to the no. If your friend has qualms about not getting a +1, just play it off as a budget issue so she won’t be offended.

Post # 7
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Can you use the old “social unit” excuse? If they’re not living together or haven’t been together very long, that’s a great reason (assuming it’s the same for your other guests, i.e. all their SOs live with them/have been together longer than a year/whatever). Otherwise, no you don’t have to invite him but be prepared for your friend to be upset (and possibly not come) – although this might be an important lesson for her in that if she chooses to be with someone like this, she might lose other important people in her life.

Post # 9
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Normally I would say if you are inviting some SO’s you should invite them all, but in this case I am thinking you shouldn’t.  If/when your friend asks why, I would be completely honest with her and tell her you didn’t want to risk having family members insulted at your wedding.  She will probably be mad, and may be mad for awhile, but I think she will just have to learn to deal with the effects of choosing to be with someone who is overtly offensive.

Post # 10
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

No, why risk something bad happening?  He doesn’t sound very deserving of an invitation and if drinks too much, even less.  He most likely won’t be able to control it at your wedding.  Avoid the drama!

Post # 11
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i agree.. kick him… to the curb.

Post # 12
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

don’t invite him; it’s better to potentially hurt a friend’s feelings than have your wedding day ruined by ignorant comments. you and your friend aren’t that close anyways; just say it was a budget thing and you can’t afford to let all SO’s come if you don’t want to be rude and offer an explanation. 

if he’s potentially going to make racial slurs and party too hard, risking a friend’s feelings isn’t going to be the worst thing on your mind.

Post # 13
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with verosara. If he can’t control his drinking and change his offensive tone to match the social situation, he is a loser who shouldn’t be at the wedding. And his girlfriend should be used to awkward invite situations by now, too. Two years?! I feel sorry for her, you can’t help who you fall in love with but man, I’d have trouble accepting someone like that.

Post # 14
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wouldn’t invite him. I’d use the whole “budget” excuse and if she gets pissy I’d invent family members that you weren’t able to invite cos of your budget constraints. That way she can’t really be too upset if you’ve explained how you really wanted her to be there but you couldn’t invite her guy cos you can’t fit it into the budget. You could say something like “I wasn’t able to invite my aunts and uncles (or cousins or whatever) cos of the budget” LIE, LIE, LIE!!!

Don’t invite him cos he sounds hideous. Plus, you want to have a nice time having fun, and not freaking out if your friends bf is gonna get drunk and be inappropriate.

Post # 15
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I say don’t invite him.  You don’t need one more thing to worry about at YOUR wedding.  One of my BMs is dating a guy 15 yrs older than she who is currently in jail but will be out by the wedding.  I’m absolutely NOT inviting him. 

Post # 16
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

What does your friend think of her boyfriend and his prejudices?  How does she put up with it??

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