- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
Sorry Bees this is a little long. The question is do I have to invite people that I hate – and that hate me – to my wedding just to not offend the family (who I also dislike).
Heres the deal, I come from an abusive and disfunctional family. My bialogical father is an neglectful alcoholic who really only delt with me as a child to punish me. Like snap over something I didnt even know I did/was doing and scream and hit and scare the crap out of a little kid. I have no pleasent memories of this man and we do not talk, we havent spoke in about 4 years.
His wife absolutly hates me because I look just like my mother who died when I was very young (is what I assume). As a child I would be hurt or need something and I would try and talk to her and she would just ignore me. Like look at me right in the face, decide what I was saying wasnt important, and just go back to watching tv without saying anything to me. That and she would tell me I was stupid, or inslut me or tell me I was greedy for wanting to own my own house and go to college. (Shes unemployed welfare trash.) This is how I remember her.
Whenever my father and I have tried to talk she always causes an argument. Shes very two faced. She even went so far as to send me an email under my fathers email account bitching me out so I would think he did it. She looks for anything she can to cause trouble and goes for it.
Really her entire side of the family was very cruel to me because I wasnt “one of them.” I was picked on (by adult family members and step moms relatives) bullied, told I was greedy and not worth anything. She stole child support money from me that my grandmother had put into a savings account for me.
Im seeing therapy for all of this and basically what Im dealing with is post tramatic stress disorder from dealing with just honestly mean people for so many years.
So my instinct is to not invite them however it could cause an uproar with the rest of the family mainly my grandparents (dads mom) and my aunt and uncle who are my real parents. Note: Ive lived with several family members because of how unstable my father was.
Really with the family what Im worried about is all the talking behind my back (not from my aunt and uncle but from the step mothers relatives) but I feel like thats going to happen no matter what I do because my wedding will cost a lot more than any wedding theyve ever been too and they will be jealious for sure. (Not that my weddings huge but they just have no education and crappy jobs).
So if I dont invite theres going to be a family outcry (mostly from family I dont like) but then I wont have to worry about anything at our wedding. If I do invite theres a small chance they wont come, theres a HUGE chance they wont RSVP on time or at all and then will come. And then if they DO come theres a pretty big chance they will sit quietly in the corner because they dont seem to know how to deal with people they dont know (social anxiety that could work to my avantage) but I know they will be bitter the whole time because they are obviously not participating in the wedding.
My step mothers family will be upset and mean no matter what. My father wont know how to be happy for me no matter what.
Does anyone have any input? I need some advice 🙁