Post # 1
I have one cousin who I’m semi-close to. I talk to her regularly on Facebook even though I haven’t seen her in years. Her brother on the other hand? Not close AT ALL with him or his wife and kids.
I literally would not be able to pick him out of a line-up (haven’t seen him since I was 12 or 13) nor have I ever met or spoken to his wife.
If I’m inviting his parents and sister and her family do I have to invite him and his family too?
We are trying really hard to keep our wedding small-ish and only invite the family members we’re close to. It seems rude to invite his sister and not invite him but I honestly feel kind of awkward even sending them an invite, that’s how little I know him. My Fiance has never met him and he has met almost ALL of my family.
What would you do bee’s?
Post # 3
I went with the “invite one, invite all” camp. As much as I wanted to keep my wedding small, I couldn’t get around inviting certain family members but not others. Think of the people in your life in circles… If you invite any member of one circle, the rest need to also be invited. My mom gently reminded that weddings are two people coming together and its not an event to potentially offend/drive separation in people. I sucked it up… and invited people. I chose how many “circles” outward I wanted to invite so sadly there were family friends that I would have liked to invite, but the rest of the “circle” I didn’t care for so that entire social circle got the ax.
Post # 4
At first, my reaction was “sure invite him”…. but if it’s a whole family? That’s a lot of seats for people you don’t know.
Since you’re close to your cousin, could you ask her what she thinks?
Post # 5
@atalante: Ya there are four of them. Him, his wife and two kids…
I don’t think I’m close ENOUGH with my cousin to ask. We mostly are just facebook friends and occasionally comment back and forth on one another’s walls or photos.
I should also add that are wedding is a psuedo-destination wedding and would be an approx. 10-12 hour drive for them to get to. So they might not even come anyways. The main thing is I literally feel awkward sending him an invitation since I don’t know them AT ALL. But I guess that probably happens a lot…
Post # 5
I’m in the “invite one, invite all” camp like a PP said. I have 30 first cousins, and a few I’ve never actually met in my life. My mother has already said we have to invite them. Luckily, if you aren’t close/don’t really know him, he likely won’t come!
Post # 6
@vickyness: Ugh, yes, that makes sense! Hence why I seem to have to invite all the aunts/uncles and first cousins on my dad’s side even though I’m not close to ANY of them. I am eliminating one aunt and her family due to MAJOR family conflict/drama though.
I guess I’ll just have to cross my fingers he doesn’t come 😉
Post # 7
I think if you were just inviting his sister, it would be fine. But since you said you’re inviting his parents, as well, that I think you have to invite him (and, thus, his family). Leaving out just one member of a family seems worse than inviting only one member…
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I think you are fine to not invite him since he is a grown adult with his own family and you are not close, but I do think that you should maybe give him a call and let him know that you are having a small wedding and you hope he understands.
Post # 9
I’m in the “invite one, invite all” camp too when it comes to circles / levels within the family. So you invite one cousin, you have to invite the other.
Post # 10
Were you invited to his wedding?
I would invite him – I think it may be more awkward in the future if you invited his parents, sister and not him. Plus as you said it’s a 10-12 hour drive and you haven’t seen him in years he may choose not to come and you save yourself any awkward family gatherings!
Post # 11
@fionak: Um, I think so? He got married two summers ago and my brother and dad went. If I was invited it was just included on the invite to my dad. Which put me off a bit considering I’d been living on my own for awhile two years ago with Fiance…
Post # 12
Sounds like my cousin – we never speak on our own, we live 3 hours apart so very rarely see each other (maybe once every 3-4 years), and when she got married I was included on the invite sent to my mom’s house even though I’d been living alone for a few years.
I’ll be inviting her to my wedding though. And her sister I see the same amount, and her brother I see even less often.