(Closed) Do I Have To Invite My Dad's Wife?LONG

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think if you want any kind of relationship with your father you need to invite his wife. They are a social unit and it would do nothing but cause more hurt and bad feelings to make a point to not invite her.

Post # 4
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Short answer: Yes.

Explanation: Even if it wasn’t your dad and step-mom, let’s say it’s a friend…you would need to invite said friend’s spouse. So, you also need to invite your dad’s spouse.

Post # 5
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@amazingbee:  I feel that with all the money, emotion, and preparation that goes into a wedding that only those who love and support you should be invited.

In that case, I would not send them an invited. Or if you do, I would call you dad and let know him that only HE is invited. If he can’t accept it, let them both stay home.

Post # 6
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a complicated relationship with my real mom who I lived with until I was 14.  My stepmom is more my mother.

For various reasons, my birth mom and I both agreed she would not be at the wedding.

Try to do what is best and most healthy for your relationship wtih your dad.  For my mom and I that meant her not coming. We were both less stressed that way. So maybe you need to talk to your dad about it.  Feel out if he even wants to come.

ETA: If you do invite your dad as a regular guest, then you will also need to let him bring his wife as a regular guest.

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@amazingbee:  Would it cause you, THE BRIDE, emotional distress to see them there? Do you think she will cause drama on the day>

Even if one of the answers is yes, SCREW THEM and screw etiquette!!!

Your wedding day is the BEST day of your life. Don’t let some people spoil it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Post # 11
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@amazingbee:  my mom and I didn’t speak for nearly 7 years. It’s complicated but that’s as adult as she has acted in a long time.

Post # 13
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is such a tough situation and I can relate in some aspects.  My parents are divorced and while I DO have good relationship with my dad, I don’t have a good relationship with his new partner.  We’re civil but there is way too much history for me to ever fully accept her.

I struggled with inviting her for a looooong time.  I hate having her at family events and I didn’t want  to feel uncomfortable with her there and I didn’t want my mom or other family uncomfortable.

But in the end, I invited her to avoid upsetting my dad and you know what, it was totally fine.  I didn’t speak a word to her.  Not because I was actively trying to ignore her….I was just feeling so much love from my other friends and family that I didn’t care or notice that she was there.  There are going to be so many wonderful people there that love and support you and you are going to be so busy at your wedding spending time with THEM.

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@amazingbee: I would have a talk with your mother and grandmother that you appreciate their concern but you are an adult and you feel that it may be best for them both to miss the wedding. Case closed. Change the subject. Reap ad nasueam.

 

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