(Closed) Do I have to Invite them?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t invite her. It seems the friendship is really not there and I’d be weary of any drama that could occur at the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it just depends what you want to see going forward. Since you’re not interested in a friendship in any way (as it seems from the OP) then I would not. If you want to possibly mend fences or having a friendly acquaintanceship moving forward, then I would. 

Post # 6
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I vote no. I’m a big proponant of it’s your day, and you shouldn’t have to be faced with people you don’t want to see, especially if it’s small so you will DEFINITELY see her.

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You sent her a save the date.  You need to send them an invitation, per etiquette.  If I was ‘politely asked to step down’ from my post as a bridesmaid I would likely decline the invite anyway.  If you have any hope of keeping her as a friend then invite her and the boyfriend.

Post # 8
Member
12974 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@futuremrsfitz18:  +1.

You sent a save the date.  You included her.  Even if you felt pressured into it, ultimately, it was your choice.  It sucks, but you made the bed, now you have to lie in it.  Like a PP said, if you asked me to quit your wedding party, I’d probably decline your invitation anyway.

Post # 10
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I say nix her. Usually, when you ask someone to step down from being a bridesmaid, especially for the reasons you explained, there is little hope for a friendship to be salvaged. Since you guys haven’t spoken for 7 or 8 months now, I’d consider the friendship done as well. 

The problem with sending her an invite is that she might come. And do you really want someone there who was an awful friend to you? I say cut her and invite someone who you truly want there.

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  I agree. I’m guessing she will decline & you can use the space for someone you’d like to have there, anyway.

Post # 12
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I get that there are etiquette rules, but really if she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man that got kicked out, I think a lot of those rules don’t really apply any more….

Post # 15
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@InATizzy:  Well, you were in the wrong for asking her to step down.  At first I thought you did so because she didn’t get her dress, but she did, and since that’s really all our bridesmaids need to do, she did what she had to do.  Reimbursing for the dress was the right thing to do.  You would have had to pay for her meal anyway if she was still in the Wedding Party.  If you’re really worried about the cost of the dress, maybe you can sell it online.

As I said before, if you care about the friendship, invite her.  If you are prepared for it to end, then go ahead and exclude her.

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