Post # 1
So, there’s an older woman who is remotely friends with my mom. Sweet lady, but she didn’t make the guest list since we’re paying for the wedding ourselves and we only have family and close friends invited. This sweet little old lady asked one of my bridesmaids if she could come to the wedding shower because she wanted to give us a gift, but she said she was not expecting to come to the wedding. The Bridesmaid or Best Man invited the lady to the shower (I did not find out until after, I was like this is so not okay, and terrible etiquette, but the lady was already invited). This sweet woman shows up at the shower, is so sweet, and then starts asking about our wedding and says, “Great, I can’t wait to come!!! I’ll be working on my dance moves!” I’m kind of in a tough spot now b/c we are already over our guest limit and had already finalized the guest list by this point. FI is like, “No, stop adding people to the guest list, it is done we are moving on” haha cuz I would love to invite more people but we’re at the limits of our venue and budget, we really can’t add anyone else.
Do I need to invite this woman or not? I’ll probably never see her again, FWIW, but the fact that she came to our shower, gave us a gift, and is super sweet is not lost on me. What would you do? Please be kind, I know this is crappy; I would have never invited someone to the shower in the first place if they weren’t on the guest list for the wedding.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
What is the main reason holding you back – is there simply not enough seating, or is it financial in nature? Perhaps if she is your mom’s friend she would be willing to foot the bill for her friend if you explain the awkward situation to your mom. This all depends on your relationship with your mom and her relationship with the friend.
Sorry, wish I had better advice. I’m currently dealing with a few “oh and I have a +1!” notes on some RSVPs myself, which is on top of a bloated guest list with much more “yes”s than we expected! So my issue is more seating-oriented.
Post # 4
@sunnyde: I would invite her. she spent her time and money to come wish you well for your wedding and marriage despite not expecting an invitation. I think she was definately fishing for an invitation, but I would not fault her for it. attending your special day would likely be a wonderful experience for her and she seems genuinely excited at the prospect if sharing it with you. what mire could one ask of a guest?
Post # 5
@trainergirl You are right. I’m gonna really push to add her to the list. Thanks for the input ladies!! I know this is a pretty common dilemma, people inviting themselves. Always works out!!! 🙂
Post # 6
@sunnyde: I’d invite her for sure.
By the sound of it you will make her really happy:)
Post # 8
I would invite her. You can always find a place to stick a single person!
And if you have a super expensive venue, maybe you mom would be willing to pay for her plate? Or, since she’s elderly, she might give you a gift worth (about) the price of her plate.