(Closed) Do I have to invite…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Do you WANT to invite her? Nothing says you have to, but if you like her, and have the room, why not?
And, even though you can’t attend hers, you could send her a nice card or gift.

Post # 4
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

Yikes, this is kind of a sticky situation.  I know most people will say invite who you want to invite, but within my social circle, people go by the "if I invited you to my wedding, you better invite me to your wedding".  But if you think you won’t run into her again then maybe you can get away with not inviting her and not having it be super awkward.

Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I don’t think you have to invite her. If she is only a casual friend, and you probably won’t run into her again for awhile, you’re under no obligation. There are people whose weddings I went to a few years ago but who I didn’t invite to mine. We hadn’t spoken in years so I didn’t feel it was necessary to abide by the reciprocity rule, which is of course unofficial anyway.

Post # 7
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I wouldn’t invite her if you are already having GL issues.  If she mentions it, let her know that you had to be careful with the guest list.

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, my Fiance and I have decided to do this when we get the "I’m invited to the wedding, right" question –which, by the way, I would NEVER do–

He tells people he has no idea that I’m in charge of the list and I tell people he is in charge of the list.  Gets you off easy! 

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think you should do what you want and what makes you happy.  If you don’t want to invite her, don’t. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Only invite her if you really want her to be there. Don’t invite her just because she has invited you to her wedding.

Post # 11
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

The whole thing of "well she invited me so I have to invite her" is horrible.  If your budget doesn’t allow then I hope you don’t feel like you should just because she did.  I think this is closely related to "should I make so-and-so my Maid/Matron of Honor just because I was her MOH?"  Answer is not necessarily.  Do what you want.  It’s your wedding!

Post # 12
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My FI’s co-worker is getting married 2 weeks before us & yesterday he asked for our address (you know what that means). We had already discussed that we wouldn’t be inviting anyone from work because we don’t want to make people feel bad & we can’t afford to add 30 people to our guest count.

When weddings are concerned- You invite who you want. People shouldn’t be offended. 

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