Post # 1
I’m struggled to find an answer and I hope you guys can help me –
My husband and I got invited to a wedding, we RSVP’d. The location of the wedding was about 91 miles away. On the day of the wedding we got the location wrong, we thought the service and the reception are in the same place. We only realised when we can see no one at the reception hall. Because we were just on time and we didn’t know where the church was so we decided to wait at the reception location.
After 15 minutes my husband decided for us to go home as he thought it was rude to attend just the reception as the bride and groom and et al may think we just want some free lunch. I was reluctant to go home as I was all dressed up for the wedding.
We both felt really bad for not attending the wedding but we also know that the friendship is over over this incident.
Two weeks later we got a message from the groom asking us to pay for the meal as they paid substantial amount for it. I really not sure if what he did is the ‘procedure’ considering we gave a generous amount on the gift card at their registered department store.
I’m about the pay for the ‘meal’ but I would like to seek opinions from you guys first.
*** we got asked to pay £100 at £50 each and we paid for the £50 gift card a day before the wedding
Post # 3
While it was very inconsiderate of you guys not to stay for the dinner you RSVP’d for, I think it’s way more rude of the groom to ask for money for the meal. I wouldn’t give him anything personally.
Post # 4
@ConfusedGuest: I would. I would also write a note explaining what happened. I hope you don’t get alot of crap for this post.
Post # 5
i’ll just leave it at this – your Husband was wrong and you should not have left. But it’s also very rude of the groom to ask for money.
Post # 6
I would. The groom was rude though.
Post # 7
If it were me, I would pay since I RSVP’d even though I think it was rude of him to ask. How much is he asking for?
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center
@ConfusedGuest: I don’t quite understand why you left anyway. I don’t think the bride/groom would be too upset about you missing the ceremony due to a mix up of locations.
To answer your question: I think its pretty rude of the groom to ask for you to pay for the dinner that you missed. If you already think the friendship is ruined because of missing the wedding, what do you have to lose by not paying them?
Post # 9
@ConfusedGuest: If they were a close friend, I probably would just pay for it and like PP said, I’d write a note. Basically telling them what happened and that you are sorry for the hard feelings. And maybe try a better ‘get there on time’ strategy! 😉
Post # 10
OP, did you at least leave your gift for them at the reception venue?
Post # 11
@autumnlynnhill: he asked for two people’s meal at £50 each and we gave £50 gift card.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
I wouldn’t pay. I think you should have stayed, and maybe explained in person why you missed the ceremony, but half of the wedding is celebrating, which you were invited to do with them! But if you had been deathly ill or had a car accident or any other number of things that might have prevented you from coming, would you have still been expected to pay for your meal? That seems incredibly rude. Tell them you are sad you didn’t get to celebrate with them, and that you hope they received their gift and are enjoying their time as newlyweds. I wouldn’t even bother addressing the whole meal price issue.
Post # 13
Absolutely not. That’s ridiculous that you are being asked for your money back. What if your absence had been caused by an illness, accident, or other unforseen circumstance? The bride and groom should just drop it.
Post # 14
We both felt really bad for it but because my husband was so stubborn at that time. When we got home he even googled the etiquette for weddings and found results of people think is rude to attend the reception without ‘bother’ showing up at the ceremony just to prove me wrong as I really think we should of stayed and the bride and groom won’t mind.
I kind of expected we would get asked for the money considering we are in the wrong.
Post # 15
You still gave them a generous gift, so I will no you don’t have to pay.
Post # 16
Although under regular circumstances it is rude to attend the reception without attending the ceremony, in this instance that really is what you should have done. It is much less rude to just attend the reception because you got lost than actually bail altogether. To be honest, I really wouldn’t pay the money, but at the same time I can understand why the bride and groom are really angry. I think it’s silly that after getting all dressed up and driving almost 100 miles you decided to just turn around instead of explaining to your husband that it was important to support your friends on their day, even if that means you missed the ceremony.