Post # 1
I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. I had hoped my first post would be a recap, but i’m needing some support so this has to be it (blah)
I left my “dream” job in NY to move to NOVA (Northern Virginia) where my then fiance-now husband lives. I put dream in quotations because the job itself wasn’t all that dreamy, but the enviroment was amazing. Our plan was for me always to move, so I wasn’t shocked but just really sad I had to leave.
I do the same job for a smaller company, and hate my life. Since I had no background in living in Nothern Virginia, I took a job in an area of DC that doesnt have mass transit for me to take. Well, its not fesible for me to take. The driving-commute is killing me, it ranges from an hour- two and a half hours each way, so I’m angry when I get here, and am angry when i get home. I try hard not to be like this, but i hit my breaking point.
here is where i need help:
I applied for the same job at a “branch” of my old company, got the interviews ect. I was turned down the first time and was ok with it. I got a call on my honeymoon that another position had opended up and i jumped at it. Put a full two week notice in I had my husband get me on his benefits ect. I get a call today that the position is still open, but they are moving the whole department to NY sept 30th. So i’d have a job from now until the end of september.
My Husband wants me to tell my current company “Just Kidding” and that I want to stay, I KNOW this is the smarter option. I guess i just need advice on whether to stay, and if so how does one handle this, or take the other job, knowing that i’ll be out of one in Sept.
Thanks for the help 🙂
Post # 2
I say you need to stop having a commute that makes you miserable, whether that means taking this new job temporarily, or finding another new job closer to home.
Post # 3
unicornphish: Thank you! My “knee jerk” reaction was to take the job anyway, but when I think about having to start the search over again in a few months, I get panicky!
Post # 4
I’d take the new job and start job hunting for a more feasible commute. You’ll also have time to figure out mass transit and look for something that will make you happy.
Post # 5
If you’re that miserable at your current job, there’s no sense in staying. One thing to consider as well is that if you were to stay at your current job, your managers may question your commitment to the job. You could be singled out as the employee who will leave once the next opportunity comes around, and that’s not a good position to be in.
As long as the new job is okay with you not relocating with them, I’d take that job, build up your savings, and search for a new role in your area that you can keep long term.
Post # 6
I don’t think you can tell your company just kidding.
I actually quit my job (by telling my supervisor I couldn’t work here anymore and that it would be best for the company and I to part ways) about three weeks ago after my boss went off on me and crossed the line, and I thought about reneging but it was clear that that wasn’t an option. I have been miserable and while I’m anxious, I am very excited to explore new opportunities and trying things I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.
I think that if you’re miserable, do something you enjoy for a few months and then find a new opportunity. We spend so much of the day at work…you shouldn’t spend that much of the day miserable!
Post # 7
tatiyana: 3 years ago we moved to live closer to my now DH’s job because the commute was making him miserable. We were living in the city where I was in school and he got a new job meaning a commute of 1.5-2 hours each way. Made him a miserable piece of crap. So I decided that we’d move (yep, I decided, I told him we were moving – he didn’t argue), and I commuted for my last year of school – my commute was 30-45 mintues each way and half the time I took the bus.
I think you either need to move closer to your job/equidistant between your 2 jobs, or you need to look for something closer to home. If commuting makes you misterable it’s not worth it.
Personally I’d take the job with your old company, you know you have until Sept30th to find a new job. If you start looking now you should be able to get something. In my experience it’s always easier to find a job when you have one and when you’re happy.
Post # 8
tatiyana: I work in NOVA and live in what’s considered Northern VA but I’m not sure how (south past Fredericksburg and Stafford) and my commute is similar so I hear you on that. If you’re prepared to shoot your application out hard core and you’re confident you’ll find another job then take the leap. BUT don’t expect the environment and the people to be similar to the ones you had in New York considering its a different branch it could have an all around different vibe.
I listen to Audible (audio books) and that helps tremendously with keeping the stress of traffic and long hours in the car to a manageable level for a while. I still have break downs every 3-4 months where I’m pretty sure I can’t take it anymore and nothing will help or get better. Best of luck making your decisions!
Post # 9
tatiyana: Trust me I understand how much of a bitch job hunting can be, I start a new job today, and it’s only part time! But finding the right job makes it all worth it.
Post # 10
I would stay in your current position and apply for other jobs (that won’t be moving to NY).
You’re going to have to find something else in September anyways.
Also, I’m from DC and unfortunately unless you live right on a metro line and your job is also on a metro line… your commute will suck. But, you should definitely be able to find something better than your current commute!
Post # 11
violet21293: Thanks! I can feel the weight of my shoulders when i think about not comming into my current job. I totally see where my husband is comming from, because it’d put a lot on him. This was my initial reaction too, but I needed/wanted outside opinions!
Post # 12
If you could survive on his income alone for a little while, I’d take the new job and start looking immediately for another. You could hope to swing in come September, or you might be out of a job for a while. Count on being out of a job for a while just because you can’t always count on finding something.
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Is the job that’s moving to NY okay with you sticking with them just from now til Sept? Or are they looking for someone to move to NY with the branch?
If you’re going into it with them and you both knowing that it is only temp until September… then stick with it and use that time to research / look for more oppertunities?
Post # 14
bleusteel: I had the same thought. Its a small office, so people feel like they can speak freely :P. My managers-manager did ask when i orginially put my two weeks in what it would take to make me stay, and i point blank told him nothing. I wouldn’t have to relocate (i wouldn’t mind, i loved working in NY) so thats not an issue. thanks for your help!
Post # 15
I agree with some PPs – take this job, and be looking for a new job the entire time. It should be easy to explain to other companies – the branch is moving in September, so you’re looking early to be prepared.
A 2.5 hour commute one-way is completely insane. I get frustrated when traffic makes my commute 45 minutes instead of 20-30. I can’t imagine 2.5 hours.