- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
My fiancé is from a really close happy family, and I am from a small somewhat estranged one. He is planning on having his 3 brothers as groomsmen, and I wouldn’t mind adding his sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man even though I don’t know her well because she’s always seemed sweet and kind and we are close in age. I only have one brother, who is just getting married next month. We were never close growing up because he was a drug addicted and alcoholic teen/young man until only about 4 yrs ago. My parents always looked the other way with him and basically let his habits terrorize our family for many years- it was really rough growing up in this environment which is why I begged to be sent to boarding school at 17 and then never moved back home. My brother hasn’t seemed to have any new problems and he even asked me and my fiancé to be in their wedding as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen (although I’m pretty sure it’s bc my ultra-conservative mom thinks its an automatic thing)
The thing is…I still don’t want him in mine. It’s been clear throughout his engagement that they aren’t truly concerned about us – they didn’t invite us to the engagement party, or me to the bridal shower (I’m out of town, but I’m his only sister, and I work freelance, and I can afford to travel) then his fiancé didn’t settle her plans for her bachelorette weekend trip until so last min that it wouldve cost me $800 just for the flight ($300 for her and other BMs who live closer) and then the thing that’s kind of breaking me is that when my fiancé took off work to fly out to his bachelor party in Vegas on a Friday, my brother couldnt be reached to meet up with my fiancé!!! An invited GM!! So my fiancé was out in Vegas by himself just waiting around their hotel to see his any of my brothers crew bothered to call/ text him back. I don’t feel like he deserves to be my fiance’s Groomsmen and I feel horrible about it being assumed. I dont particularly want him in our Bridal Party bc we were never close, and while the direct pain from living with him is long over, I’m not sure his wedding is exactly healing.. We weren’t even speaking on a regular basis except Christmas until he asked us to be in their wedding.
Do I have to put them in our wedding?