Post # 1
I read that save-the-dates are a good option if the majority of your guests will have to travel (maybe 15% will) and if you’re having your wedding on a popular holiday weekend when people might have longstanding plans. We’re getting married the Saturday of memorial weekend and as far as we know, no one in the family has long-standing plans for that and we’ve suddenly found ourselves in a very tight budget.
Would it be ok for us to not send out save the dates and maybe just tell the few people out of town when the date is so they can plan ahead? I’d really prefer to save that cost and put it toward other, more important things. What do you think, bees?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
100% okay to skip save-the-dates 🙂
Post # 4
@nyan-nyan: Not only “okay”, but preferable. Your plan of paying personal attention to your out-of-town guests instead of sending them a commercially-printed flyer is exactly what traditional etiquette would recommend.
Post # 5
We skipped them. They are completely optional.
Post # 6
@nyan-nyan: Hey date twin! Save The Dates are never required, but Memorial Day is a fairly popular holiday weekend, and the unofficial start to Summer, so lots of folks make plans far in advance. So, that’s something to think about.
If you have email addresses for most of your guests you could always send a virtual Save The Date and get something printed for the few who aren’t ‘net savvy.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@nyan-nyan: Since it’s Memorial Day weekend then I would definitely send some sort of Save the Date. You can order postcards pretty cheap on Vistaprint and send those. Even if people aren’t traveling to your wedding, you will want them to be reminded that your wedding is coming up that weekend so they don’t forget and make other plans. Nothing wrong with virtual save the dates either if you need to save the money.
Post # 8
We sent out invitations a smidge early. Invitations have the date on them and work just as well as a save the date. I think sending out two items just for a date is silly.
Post # 9
Save-the-date notices are a modern convention that is completely unnecessary. In my opinion, they actually have the potential to create difficulties, especially if couples are in a hurry to send them out prior to really working through the details of their budgets. There are threads in which bees have described having to cut their guest lists after having sent save-the-dates, as well as threads where bees have told stories of having had a falling out with someone subsequent to sending him or her a save-the-date notice many months prior to the wedding.
I was married on a Friday night of a holiday weekend, and my wedding was semi-destination for everyone — including DH and his friends (three hours away), my local friends and me (an hour and a half away), and all of the rest of our family and friends, some of whom had to drive for many hours or fly from other parts of the country to be with us on our special day. We did not send save-the-dates.
@Hyperventilate: We did this also. We mailed our invitations about 12 weeks prior to our wedding, nine weeks prior to our reply date. This worked well for us.
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I sent mine as email attachements. I know that’s not the most elegant option, but I tried to design pretty ones and I’m broke, so there you have it.
I sent them out yesterday and have only had a few glitches (wrong emails, “out of office” replies, lol, and one or two people who couldn’t open them. I have received lots of nice comments about the actual STDs, as well as some general idea of who may be coming, which is awesome for planning.
Post # 11
We skipped them. FI’s family is in California and FMIL was so excited about the wedding she could hardly contain her blabbing to everyone about it. No Save The Date needed, FMIL took care of it for free.
Post # 12
We skipped them. I made a facebook event for friends who were on there and verbally told family and other friends. Not the most classy but noone seemed to mind and people remembered so it worked.
Post # 13
I’m seriously considering skipping them. My wedding is in 5 months, we just got engaged last month and I’m just not sure we have time. Maybe just try and get your invitations out as soon as possible?
Post # 14
I’ve never thought STDs were necessary. If you’re inviting these people to the wedding, chances are you talk to them regularly enough that you can mention the date to them anytime. I didn’t do them, and I’ve never received one either.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016
@nyan-nyan: save the dates are totally optional!! If we didn’t have extra room in our budget, we wouldn’t have done them.
Post # 16
I think it’s completely optional. But, at the same time, you don’t need to spend a lot. I spent about $40 for a little more than 70 cards using vistaprint – of course I used coupons. The cost includes stamps. We did it a month after we got engaged because our engagement is short – 7 months. We got feedbacks that it was helpful.