(Closed) Do I have to tell them?

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@His_Swallow:

yes by all means, tell them its a family get together.  They are the jerks for price inflation with the w-word.  It’s true.

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

They are going to find out anyway. I think it would be wrong not to tell them the truth.

Post # 5
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It depends on the type of vendor. If they’re going to be there the day-of, they’re going to find out. And you do not want to have them add the markup to your bill after the fact!

Post # 6
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Personally, I think weddings are often more work for vendors than just a family get together or other event.  For example, with the photographer, most events require that you take a pictures of different groups of people together.  For a wedding, you have to make sure to take the right pictures at the right time (first kiss, cake cutting, etc).  My wedding only had 90 guests, but the venue coordinator at the reception facility still had a lot more to do because it was a wedding than if it was another event. She made sure the cake arrived, the flowers were correctly on the tables, that the DJ’s music wasn’t too long (and that he started on time), when the cake should be cut, directed the DJ when it was time for the first dance, etc etc.  Those items don’t happen at other events.

If your contract states that it is a family get together/ other event and the vendor shows up and it is a wedding, they may refuse to follow through with their services because you were not forthright and basically broke the contract.

Post # 9
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@His_Swallow: It was just speculation–I’ve heard of this happening, though I think it depends on the contract. They could, as others have said, refuse to serve you at all.

Post # 10
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, I’m not getting married yet but I have a cautionary tale. For prom my friends and I all decided to rent a limo together and one of the parents set it all up for us. The day of we all get dressed up and meet at my friend’s house. Limo driver shows up sees us all lined up on the lawn. And promptly refuses service. He tells the parent that set it up that they didn’t tell them it was for a prom when they hired him and that he’s not taking us. It resulted in a lot of phone calls, time wasted on that lawn, and in the end money, and finally the guy agreed to drive us. Might not be worth the hassle of trying to hide it if they’re going to find out.

Post # 12
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

One way to bargain would be to call them up first and get a quote for your ‘family gathering’ of 30 people. Then call back a day or so later and get a ‘wedding quote.’ You can ask them next time (probably in a 3rd call a week later or so) about the price difference and what justifies the cost.

Some vendors (like photogs, IMO) do have more work to put in for a wedding. But a caterer who’s bringing and setting up food doesn’t make your dinner with ‘extra wedding magic’ that justifies a 20-40% markup. Being nice and supporting your requests with the different quotes while still being reasonable and asking for an explanation (and understanding) that in some cases it is more work may just score you some savings. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with NDBee. A wedding with only 30 people is a family gathering, you wouldn’t be lying.  So what if you wear a white dress and signed a certificate earlier? That’s really  none of the cater’s buisness.

Post # 14
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think you should be truthful.  They will find out, and when they do it may sour the business relationship.  You really don’t want to antagonize the people you are relying on to provide services on your wedding day.

Post # 15
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

In every wedding book I’ve read they say DO NOT TELL THEM! 

They add 5-10% just because of the word wedding. It’s ridiculous. They ask me what I’m planning I say “I’m planning a big party.” And then they ask for what and I say “For me”. 

Post # 16
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have a friend that did this.  The groom was doing a lot of the planning and was the one calling the vendors and it was in a college town, so he just didn’t specify wedding and let them believe he was planning some sort of fraternity formal.

Personally, I would not do this.  On one hand, I’m very annoyed that people charge more for weddings than other events, but on the other hand they would be annoyed at being misled (to hear my friend tell it, his vendors were surprised and annoyed at missing out on the wedding pricing when they arrived).  If you’re willing to chance it because getting a deal is that important (can’t afford it otherwise / really love feeling like you’re getting the best bargain), then it’s worth a try, but I personally don’t want vendors annoyed and less than excited to do their best.

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