(Closed) Do I HAVE to tip the catering manager…especially when she’s been AWFUL?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It depends on how horrible she’s been.  If those are her worse offenses, I’d probably tip her but I think its horribly tacky to tell you a dollar amount she expects!  Like how dare you tell me how much I should tip you!  So, I wouldn’t consider the amount she’s told you (its probably inflated anyway), I’d give her an amount your comfortable with.  I just can’t stand people that feel entitled to stuff like that even if they’ve been unprofessional or provided sub par services.  Ugh! 

Post # 4
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There are always good tip guides in wedding magazines.  I can check mine when I get home but I can’t imagine you tip $300-500 unless your catering bill is huge.  It’s absurdly rude to tell you how much she expects.  Give what you’re comfortable with. It’s not like you have to do business with her again. 

Post # 5
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Umm, that’s really presumptuous to set a tip amount.

If you’re unhappy with her services for the most part, I would tip her $100 and call it a day if everything at the actual wedding goes as planned (if it doesn’t go well, tip nothing). Although, I would be tempted to not tip her at all because of that remark. I can’t think of ANY professional that says what tip amount is expected or typical.

After the wedding, I would send her a letter explaining how unhappy you were with her services, that the tip remark was rude, and that you will be forced to write unfavorable reviews of her services on wedding websites. I would also be tempted to tell her, “If you wish to increase your gratuity amounts in the future, it would be wise to not tell people what you expect. It puts a bad taste in their mouth.”

Post # 6
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d tip her $100, and then write a letter to her supervisor telling them EXACTLY how rude she was. And I’d send her a copy. I’m pretty laid back, but not showing up for a meeting and refusing to compromise on something you’re paying for? This is a business relationship and that’s completely not professional.

Post # 7
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Tipping is based on the level of service you receive not on what the catering manager tells you- how inappropriate!  I would do a little research on what is customary and see how the night goes and then adjust accordingly.

Post # 8
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

It’s called a gratuity for a reason.  Tips are a thank you for good service – something she clearly hasn’t provided.  I’d stick with $100.00 for her and a bit extra for the maitre’d and other staff.

Post # 9
23 posts
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would not tip her anything!  Tipping is optional, so if she has not done a good job she does not deserve a tip!  It will only lead to a lack of good service for other brides.

Post # 10
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yesh! since when isnt tipping optional? Is she being paid a fee for her service? If yes, then any tip you give her is for great service. If no, then she probably fees entitled.  But who tells a person how much of a tip they are expecting?

Post # 11
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, I wouldn’t tip her a thing. Or I’d tip so absurdly low to peeve her off. I would consider taking the money you would have given to her and tipping the others extra. Tipping her what she wants while she treats you like junk only reinforces her poor behavior…she’ll be an even bigger bully to future clients.

Post # 12
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

tell her “here is a tip- be nice to people”

jk i wouldn’t actually say that.

Post # 14
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@vistagirl – LOL. Good one.

Yeah tips are something you get for good service. They are optional. I think while you should give her SOMETHING, it should be a small amount commensurate with the experience you had with her. Better to give the servers actually doing their jobs well that money.

Post # 15
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wait, in what context did she tell you this $300-$500 figure? Did you ask her? Because that’s the only appropriate situation for her to reveal an amount, and she shouldn’t even tell you a number it should be “anything at your discretion”.

If someone told me what I had to tip them, I would respond with “Well, I give tips based on quality of service provided” and leave it at that. I think $100 sounds fair, I can’t imagine tipping someone $500, especially a catering manager!

Post # 16
4485 posts
Honey bee

No. She hasn’t done anything to deserve any tip, not even 10cents. A tip should not be given under any circumstance for bad service. A tip is a thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty, not for incredibly bad behaviour  or simply doing their job. If you do tip them for bad service, that only gives them the validation that they can con other clients and get away with it, and that others will tip them as well because they’re told to no matter what.

If this business was truly that bad, the other thing that needs to be done asap is report them to the BBB and post a review of your experience at ProjectWedding.com in the vendor review section to warn others to stay away from them at all costs.


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