(Closed) Do I Invite Him? (Long!)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

That’s a tough one! And probably no great answer. Personaly I’d probably do whatever your dad feels the most comfortable with? ftom what you’ve said, I’m guessing that inviting the uncle will make things smoother for your dad in regards to his siblings in the future??

Post # 3
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t have invited either one of them. It’s your wedding. You’re the one that has to be happy and celebrate with those who share your joy. Frankly, that uncle sounds like a nightmare and I’m sure you’re not the only one, who doesn’t want to see him there.

And I have a feeling that if you do end up allowing him to attend, he will create more drama than you would ever imagne, just to get back at you.

My daughter and son in law didnt invite 2 of their uncle/aunt couples to their wedding – one from each side; they don’t have a relationshp with them.

Post # 4
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure there are some posters who will insist that you have to invite the uncle if you invite the aunt BUT I feel that in certain extenuating circumstances it is ok to exclude a guest. You are under no obligation to invite an abusive family member to your wedding. You extended an invitation to your aunt and she chose to decline it. That is on her. I’m sorry that it is causing your father distress, that is difficult,  but understand that it is your aunt’s behavior that is causing him the distress, not yours. Your wedding day is supposed to be filled with love and happiness,  not abuse and resentment. I hope that you stick to your guns and tell your aunt that ” I understand that you will not come without your husband.  We will miss you, but we understand”

Post # 5
Member
2406 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I have such a jumble of thoughts. This can’t be the first time a choice had to be made, in regards to your uncle’s bad behavior. Or the first time anyone stopped speaking to someone else in the family. What usually happens? Are they shunned for a couple of weeks, then it goes away? Use past events as a guide.

It sounds like if you uncle attends and causes trouble, it will pollute your wedding. So I say, don’t invite him. Etiquette is common sense, and common sense here says, you don’t want a person like him near your important day. It is his fault, not  yours.

If your aunt wants to stay with him and put up with it, fine. She is. The rest of you can decide it isn’t behavior you want to be around, and you won’t be shunning anyone.

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