(Closed) Do I invite late cousins Fiancee?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite my late cousins fiancee?
    Yes! She needs to be included : (42 votes)
    98 %
    No! It would be heartbreaking for her : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    1164 posts
    Bumble bee

    CuppaSarah:  what an awful situation,  I’m so sorry about your cousin.  My thoughts are invite her because it gives her the choice of whether she feels able to attend or not.

    Post # 3
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I agree with PP, invite her and let her make that decision. My condolences to your family. 

    Post # 5
    8725 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    CuppaSarah:  you are overthinking this. Yes you should invite her if think of her as family. If she decides she isn’t ready to attend a happy event yet then she will decline. 

    It really annoys me when people think that those grieving or who are ill are no longer capable of living life or making decisions. When I was ill with cancer people would decide I wasn’t well enough to attend an event and wouldn’t invite me instead of giving me the chance to make the decision for myself. All it does is make you feel excluded and worse about your situation. 

    Post # 6
    3638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Whether she can handle attending or not is up to her. BUT imagine how absolutely heartbreaking it would be for her to NOT get an invitation and think that she has not just lost her fiancé, but an entire family. That without him she no longer means anything to the people she was soon to call family. 

    Send the invitation, it’s the best and right thing to do.

    Post # 8
    985 posts
    Busy bee

    I’d invite her, as it’s a lovely gesture. And then she can decide if she’s able to/wants to come or not. 

    Im sorry you’re in this situation. 🙁

    Post # 10
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I agree with pp-invite and let her decide. 


    Its possible your family members were trying to put themselves in her shoes and make a guess as to whether or not she would come. However, that’s not the point of an invite.

    Post # 11
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    CuppaSarah:  Invite her and give her the choice. If it was a long time ago it might be different, but since she’s been part of the family so recently, she needs to know she’s still loved.

    I’ve no idea why some of your family said not to, but whatever, j_jaye’s post pretty well refutes any reasons they might offer.

    Post # 12
    708 posts
    Busy bee

    Everdeen:  completely agree. She will make up her own mind if she is ready to come or not OP. Leaving her out would be sad.

    Post # 13
    3725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    CuppaSarah:  Invite her, give her a +1 and she can make the decision to come along or not.

    Post # 14
    6586 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    CuppaSarah:  I personally would invite her. I would include a handwrittten note in the invitation letting her know that you’re thinking of her, and you totally understand if she doesn’t feel up to attending, but that you want her to know that she’s still very much a part of the family and you’d love her to be there. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, having lost her fiance and having her whole world turned upside down. Even if she chooses not to attend, I’m sure it would mean a lot getting the invite.

    Post # 15
    2180 posts
    Buzzing bee

    CuppaSarah:  I think your family members may have been trying to determine whether or not they would go if they were in her shoes and telling you  not to invite her off of that, but I’m sure she is able to make her own decisions and I think you should invite her. If you don’t, there’s a good chance she would feel left out IMO.

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