- 3 years ago
Hi everyone, need some advice! I’m not sure whether to invite my brother to my wedding or not!
We’re not close, never really have been. He’s made some life choices that I do not agree with and has long standing issues with drugs (cannabis). I’m marrying a police officer and I too work for the justice system so it does worry me that he would bring drugs to the wedding and cause some trouble, although I’d like to think if I asked him not to bring any he wouldn’t..
He’s also technically my half brother by blood, we have different fathers, and that’s a big reason why I’m worried about inviting him!
When he was younger his dad walked out on him. When my mother married my father (now divorced) they never really got along and when my parents split when I was young (brother would have been late teens) he viewed that as another dad walking out on him. I think secretly he struggles with this as me and my dad are very close.
My mum has told me that my brother has admitted that he doesn’t know if he could handle it if he came to the wedding and saw my dad there, especially when my dad is going to be saying all nice things about me during his speech, etc.
My brother is my only sibling. We did have a sister (older than both of us but they were only a few years apart) but she unfortunately lost her battle with cancer in 2011. I’ll be inviting her twin boys to the wedding of course, in fact my nephews will be my ushers. She would have been my maid of honour but my friend has kindly agreed to step in on her behalf. It breaks my heart that my sister never even got to meet my fiancé, we were very close as sisters.
I feel like I should invite my brother because he is my brother, and he’s the only sibling I have left, and I’m the only sibling he has too. But my head is telling me no, as well as other family members recommending that I don’t invite him as he may get drunk and cause a scene of some kind. My fiancé and dad are worried about it too. I don’t even have his mobile number, we just have each other on facebook. We rarely speak and I only occasionally see him when I visit mum (they both live about 100 miles away).
I’m not overly close to my mum but she is invited, mum means well we just clash in personalities sometimes, I can tolerate her in small doses! My maid of honour and bridesmaids will be keeping an eye on her too because she hates my step mum. Apart from my mum and my nephews, there isn’t anyone else from mum’s side of the family that I’m inviting, but my dad’s side is huge. So inviting my brother may even give mum some support? Maybe I’m only thinking of inviting him because I wish we were closer?
People are saying that ultimately it’s my decision, but I just don’t know what to do. If I don’t invite him that effectively ruins any chance of us getting any closer, and I would feel bad if I didn’t invite him. And he is my brother. And I don’t want things to be awkward for mum, both at the wedding and prior when she is around my brother. But if I do invite him I run the risk of something happening at the wedding!