(Closed) Do i invite my Pastor

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do i invite the vendor/Pastor to our wedding receptions?
    Invite him and his wife to Dress Rehearsal Dinner? : (2 votes)
    14 %
    Invite him and his wife to Wedding Reception? : (2 votes)
    14 %
    Invite them both to both? : (8 votes)
    57 %
    Not necessary because he is only a vendor : (2 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    16215 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    You don’t have to invite him and his wife. Often, people will invite their pastor to be polite, and then the pastor politely declines. Totally up to you, though. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I agree with gemstone.  It is polite to invite the pastor and his wife to the reception.  Many times he will not come. 

    If you really do not want him there, then don’t invite him.  I am inviting my priest because he is the parish priest, but I am pretty confident he will rsvp no since there is a Saturday night mass.  I feel better knowing I invited him, and if he shows up I know we will all enjoy his presence.

    Post # 5
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    The polite thing to do would be to invite them to both (he is a part of the rehearsal and should therefore be invited to the rehearsal dinner and it is just the polite thing to do to invite them to the reception).  That said, if you do invite them, they will likely decline since you aren’t actually close with them.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Hmm i thought i commented on this the other day but it doesnt seem to be here!

    My Father-In-Law is a pastor and like you we paid for our pastor to do our wedding (Not a friend just a vendor).

     

    We were told we should invite him to the wedding reception (and his wife) I didnt want to do either cause to me he was just a vendor and guests are guests and money is money. I did invite both anyways, and since the pastor doesnt know u (we are pretty  much just a client) he decilned but thanked us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    You didn’t really “hire” him and I wouldn’t consider him a “vendor”. He’s a pastor. You paid the church. I would recommend inviting him to both as a courtesy. Definetly the rehearsal dinner, maybe not the reception. It’s the polite thing to do – you’ll be happy you did!

    Post # 8
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    i agree that you should decide how much you really want him to be there. If you don’t care and you have the space, then why not?

     

    I invited my pastor and his wife to be polite, fully expecting them to say no. We are not close and everytime I speak with him, I get the feeling he disaproves that I don’t go to church every sunday. Anywho, they rsvp’d yes! It is what it is and I know it will work out fine. But in hindsight, since my fiance and i didn’t think about inviting him until the last minute, we probably shouldn’t have.

    Side note that is slightly related, why do I seat my pastor and his wife at the reception dinner? it won’t be with my parents or my fiance’s parents (not their pastor).

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