(Closed) Do I invite my sister to my wedding? Warning…long post

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ninimo:  That’s what this place is for. Vent away 🙂

Post # 18
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Dealing with a similar situation with my Future Father-In-Law, he basically told me that if his sister was invited, he wouldn’t be there (and Fiance agrees with him) I’ve only met her once and it was about 5 years ago for 2 seconds, and honestly, that was enough. She’s not invited to my wedding because I don’t want that black mark on our day.

Can you drive to visit your neice? If so, I would recommend making a visit– hopefully coenciding with another family member’s visit (like grandma, mom’s are great at running interference, especially with 7 daughters!) and explain to your neice that while you would love for her to come to the wedding, her mom and “dad” said they wont be able to, so the two of you will have to do something else to celebrate some time. That way she understands that the issue isn’t with her, it’s with her parent– kids are smart, I’m sure she’s aware of more of this situation than anyone realizes, and it’ll be good for her to hear from you that you love her. 


Post # 19
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ninimo:  My heart really, really goes out to you. You’re in a horrible situation. Honestly, if your family is wise to her antics, she can slander you until the cows come home and everyone will still know the truth. So no, I wouldn’t invite her.

Reading the things you’ve written (trying to get money from your wedding gift donations re-routed to her, the unhealthy food, the lack of attention paid to her ill child) it might well be time to get a real social worker involved. I am sure the one at the hospital is too afraid that she will not bring her child for care if she gets involved, but honestly and truly this may be a case for CPS. Your niece deserves better than this.

Good luck, thoughts are with you!

Post # 20
27 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t really have any advice for you, I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. It feels amazing to know Im not the only person who has a sister like this. My older sister has an autistic child that she uses as a weapon against me, thus I havent seen my nephew in over a year.. Some people can grow old, but never grow up.

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