Do I invite my sister's new boyfriend to the wedding????

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I was brought up to always leave room for a family member who might bring a date at the last minute, so I really don’t get the idea that you ever thought this was okay- to not give her a plus one of her choosing, esp as she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor.

its not about how you feel about her boyfriend. It’s about how SHE feels about him.

Post # 32
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I feel like that rule is archaic; but considering she kept him hush-hush it’s probably too late now.

I’d just tell her nicely that unfortunately since you weren’t really aware of him until recently you weren’t given enough time to make arrangements for him to attend.

Mind you – I was invited to my FBIL’s wedding when I had just started dating Fiance (his family only met me a total of two times, 8 weeks prior), so I still think he should have received an invite regardless of them being serious or not.

Post # 33
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I hate the married/engaged rule. I met a few of our friends gfs/bfs for the first time at our wedding and loved meeting them and sharing our day with people who will hopefully be in our lives forever. I actually regret not inviting the gf of one of my husbands cousins (we didnt realise she existed until the week of the wedding) as he drove over 2000km to our wedding with her and then she stayed in the nearest city with family. I honestly felt awful about it!

I think that being your sister AND moh she should get a plus one. 

Post # 34
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you can be gracious and extend the invitation to your sister’s boyfriend, even though she didn’t “follow the rules” or do thing the way you wanted, then do. Period.

I remember I went to a friend’s wedding a few years ago – I was just a random guest, not part of the wedding party.  I flew back from Taiwan a few days before the wedding, and was nervous about driving 3 1/2 hours solo to get there in my jetlagged state.  A friend of mine (female, who the bride didn’t know) offered to drive up with me to make sure I didn’t have any trouble, planning to just go find something to do while I went to the wedding.  On 48 hours notice, the bride insisted that my friend – someone she didn’t know and hadn’t planned for – come along.  

When I had been dating my now-husband a few weeks, he was a groomsman in the wedding. At the last minute, he asked if he could bring me to the wedding.  The couple not only agreed, but invited me to the rehearsal dinner too, and with maybe 72 hours notice made a placecard with my name and slotted me into a tight seating chart.  Because it’s almost always possible to deal with one extra person at the last minute, and no wedding caterer anywhere has ever just not heard of such things happening.  Again, they found a way to be incredibly gracious about it, and we were so happy when we got to invite them to our wedding two years later.

At our wedding, we had a guest who RSVP’ed no but managed to find hist way there at the last minute.  The morning of I told the catering manager at the historic hotel where our reception was that we had a last minute addition. He said there’s almost always a no show that they could be slotted into, but if not, he’d put someone in charge of finding an extra chair and making sure there was a meal for him.  Because this was his job, and we were not the first people in history to have last minute changes.

If you can possibly find any way to be gracious, whatever the circumstances, do. Especially if it’s your sister and Maid/Matron of Honor.

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