Do I invite the household or the couple?

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

1) My parents would really like an invitation to keep, so send it to them

2) You should send invitations seprately to the parents, and the cousin.

Post # 3
Member
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

bridewithabook :  Technically I believe that everyone over 18 gets their own invitaion. I didn’t send them to our parents, not trying to save money but because it honestly slipped my mind to even include them on that list. It wasn’t until my Mother-In-Law commented that she never got her invite. Ummmm you’re sitting in the front row, you know you’re coming, do you really need it? I ended up just mailing her one…haha. 

I’d send the 20 year old cousin her own invite address to her and her fiance. 

Post # 5
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

bridewithabook :  I’d definitely send it one to the parents. I know my mom would keep it on the fridge and use it as a reference to remind herself time/date. 

I would also invite the engaged couple separately. If it were just her and her parents, you could invite the household, but seeing as she’s in a committed relationship, I would send the extra invite.

Post # 6
Member
37 posts
Newbee

bridewithabook :  I would send an invite to the parents and all adults would receive their own invite regardless if they live with their parents or not. 

Post # 7
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I would send my parents one, so they don’t feel left out and have a keepsake 

I would send out seperate invites for the cousin too

Post # 8
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I recently went to a wedding for my cousin. He didn’t actually send me an invitation. When I asked, he said “I gave one to your parents.” I’m a full grown adult who lives with my fiance (two hours away from my parents). I was a little offended that I didn’t get my own invitation. 

Post # 9
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

1) yes, send one to your parents.  They will appreciate it

2) ours depended on the situation.  Some we sent to the “family” others got individual (though most went to the family, as adult cousins are not getting +1’s unless they are engaged or married).  What we did for the majority of ours was send one invitation, but list everyone’s name.

Post # 10
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

We gave invitations to our parents, grandparents and siblings.

We sent invitations to households 

Post # 11
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

1) We didn’t send invitations to our immediate families (parents and siblings) but we did hand deliver them one, as we thought they might like to have one. Our parents all kept their invitations as a keepsake; I’m pretty sure our siblings tossed theirs after the wedding.

2) I would send 2 invitations to the same address – one to your aunt and uncle, one to your cousin and her Fiance. They might be RSVPing differently, so this does make it easier for them to navigate. Plus, your cousin is an adult and should really receive her own.

Post # 12
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

1) The only reason I sent my parents one was so they could have a keepsake in the house. Otherwise,this would be really bizarre in my circles to send immediate family a formal invitation, even if they weren’t the ones hosting. It’s kinda like DUH, we’re planning it together haha.

2) In this situation I sent one to the girl’s family that said “The __ Family”. I sent the other to her Fiance’s family separately that said “The ___ Family” becaues we were inviting his parents too (they are family friends). We did this because while they are getting married before us, but won’t be living together or married when we mail out invitations.

For other adult, non-married children associated with their parents, we just sent one STD card to the parents addressed as “The ___ Family” and then emailed all the ‘kids’ separately with a digital screenshot of the card and a note saying the physical copy has been sent to their parents’ address. We will do the same for invitations. For married adult children we sent separate cards.

Post # 13
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

1) Yes, parents and siblings got invites, I knew they’d appreciate it and/or want to keep it.  

2)  Adults living with parents did not get a separate invite from me.  I either listed all their names or addressed it to “The [Name] Family.”

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