(Closed) do I invite the priest to the sit down meal and the photographer?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not really sure what to say about the priest who invited himself… but definitely feed the photographer. Many have it in their contracts. The photographer will eat while everyone else is eating. The only photos he/she will miss are guests stuffing their faces.. and really, does anyone actually want photos of that?? lol

Feed the DJ or band too!!


Post # 4
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

lol well… if he’s important enough to officiate your holy marital union… he should probably be invited to partake in the festivities as well

Post # 5
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We fed both. The priest blessed our meal and our photographer took pictures of everything and everyone and then ate.

Post # 6
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mandy86:  Usually for vendor meals they are much cheaper. Our meals are about $100 a piece for guest but our venue has a $25 vendor meal of a sandwhich and fries which is fine since he will be running around a lot (and weve cleared dietary restrictions with him). For the pastor we are inviting him and his wife and I think thats standard (and they get guests meals like any other guest) and they usually decline from what I am told from others who have done the same in the past but I guess it is how close you are to them (like has this been your priest since birth or is it a random person) 

Post # 7
1197 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

we’re feeding out photographer (its in his contract), and the officiant is FH’s friend, so he’s definitely invited to the reception.  I’ve heard some caterers will charge half the normal per person cost to feed your vendors.  ask yours if they would do that – that’ll help with the budgeting.

Post # 8
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@mandy86:   Definitely feed the vendors.  🙂

Post # 9
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Give them vendor meals in a separate room.

Post # 10
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

We plan to feed the Justice of the Peace, 2 of our photographers and 2 videographers 🙂 

Post # 11
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s always polite to ask the officiant. They may not necessarily take up your invitation but you should ask. Also, please feed your photographer something! They will be quite happy with a vendor meal and won’t expect to sit down with you and your guests but they will need sustenance at some point and it is completely impractical to assume they can down tools and take themselves off somewhere for a lunch break.

Post # 12
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Take this from a former wedding professional.

Feed the vendors, but definitely give your photographer a FULL meal! They’re working harder and standing up longer and carrying more equipment than any other vendor and more so than your guests, a sandwich and fries is not going to be enough and you don’t want them tired for the rest of the night when taking your photos. Trust me photographers can eat very quickly, I’ve seen entire plates of food gone in 5 – 10 minutes time. I would also place them in the same room in case something really funny / cool happens, then the photographer can capture it there.

Post # 13
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mandy86:  I would never have left my officiant off the meal list. She was an important part of our day, so she deserves to be fed as well. I also invited our photographer to eat. I didn’t care if she ate when everyone else did because I really didn’t want pictures of people with their mouths full of chicken cordon bleu anyway, lol.

Vendors it is polite to feed. My DJs, for instance, said you don’t have to, but it is a nice gesture. I would never have left them off the meal list anyway. We fed everyone.

Post # 14
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

View original reply
@Steampunkbride:  is correct, it is proper manners to at least “extend an Invitation” to your Wedding Officiant to the Reception, IF it is someone you have a “relationship with” (ie the Priest / Pastor at your regular church), not required if it as JOP… but still nice for example if you have a Destination Wedding.

The Priest / Pastor is normally seated at the same table as the Parents… as he is an Honoured Guest.  And for a “religious Wedding”… one will usually ask them to kindly take the lead and say Grace before the meal as well (they are usually happy to oblige)

Vendors that work thru the Day / Reception (such as the Photographer & DJ) typically have info in regards to their Breaks & Meals etc in their contracts.  In both cases they should receive some sort of meal… be it the same one as the rest of your Guests (nice) or one that your Caterer will offer for Vendors.

Hope this helps


Post # 15
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mandy86:  I was always told yes to both. We made a small vendors table for videographers and photographer. The priest was actually supposed to sit at the head table if he came (but i think that was an Irish thing..). All our vendors and the priest turned down our offer though. The priest didnt come and the vendors chose to eat at the hotel bar instead. 

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