(Closed) Do I invite the whole congregation?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bluebird123:  Either you’ve misunderstood each other, or she’s crazy. You don’t need to invite former congregations. For a start, church memberships change, many won’t even know your Fiance.

In my circles (Australian, protestant), what is normal is an open, non-specific invitation to the ceremony only. i.e. in the church newsletter (or announced in church, depending how it’s done), members are informed when and where the ceremony is, and that they are welcome to attend the ceremony.  You could do this with all 3 churches (current, your old church, fiances’ old church). That’s we did: announcement at my church (and as far as I know, at my husband’s old church too), but only invited close friends from church. Quite a few people came to the ceremony only. Which was fine, I’ve gone to a few ceremonies only at my church myself.

EDIT: Oh wait, I see she’s already said no to this. Well then she’s out of line. Say no. Or rather, your fiance should tell his mum no.

Post # 4
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are absolutely right it is not her place she has family and they will be invited not the whole congregation is too much and too expensive for you. It is not your church your parent have a say so because they are footing the bill. Your Fiance needs to tell his mother that it is not practical to invite the whole congregation.

You both have your own church family and you want to invite them not make his mother look good with their church family. She is out of order with her request and to avoid her feeling like you disrespected her wishes have your Fiance talk to her.

Good luck and Big hug…

She’s got some nerve.

Post # 7
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bluebird123:  If you say anything she will turn it around and make it look as if you are being difficult. Mother’s and son have a bond and secretly they feel you are taking their son away. It is not true but this is there perception. So it would go down easier if he tells her trust me. She will have to swallow the fact that he has decided that it is not practical and she will give it some thought and agree with him.

BIG HUG

Post # 8
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

you dont need to  invite that congregation.

we only invited 6 people from our congregation– the pastor marring us his wife, the painoist playing the music and her husband. and then a couple that works with my husband and his father. were people pissed that they werent invited- probably but no one said anything- the following day at chuch there was an announcement made that we got married by the Grace of God—lots of things happened that most people were surprised a wedding was able to happen. and there was PLENTY  of wedding cake left over for people to enjoy and we brought our wedding ceremony flowers there so people could enjoy them and take a flower/s if they wanted..

 

your fiance should tell his mom that there wont be an entire congrational invite for their church. it would bee too much added expense and be unfair to your parents

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