Post # 1
Okay so I’m having a little problem, even though it’s not a big deal, but it is a big deal if that makes sense lol
So, we are having our wedding at my old church, the church I still attend on occasion and that my mother attends regularly. The assistant pastor is the one marrying us and we can’t be more excited because he’s awesome! But the problem I’m having is inviting the NEW pastor to the wedding. Since he’s allowing us to have our wedding there, I feel obligated to invite him and his wife, but on the other hand I don’t know either of them at all and we just want to have close family and friends attending.
Plus the factor comes in of paying. The assistant pastor marrying us isn’t asking for any money, but we plan on giving him and his wife some anyway, but do we have to pay the actual Pastor if we invite him since he’s allowing us to have our wedding there without charge?
Hmm…it’s so confusing, and I really don’t know what to do. I don’t attend regularly anymore because I’m never in town, and I really just met the new pastor and his wife last weekend. Honestly, I don’t want to invite them because I want it to be special and just be people we really know, but I don’t know what the right thing to do is, ugh.
So what should I do? Should I invite him and his wife? Or should I just leave the guest list ALONE!
Post # 3
I admit–I don’t have a whole lot of experience in this area, having not attended church on a regular basis in quite some time–but it seems to me that the best idea would be to ask your parents what to do–or–don’t invite them. You’re not a regular there, so it’s not a big deal, at least, to me, and unless your parents regularly attend, I don’t see the need.
Post # 4
Im Having my assistant Pastor marry MIchael and I and I am inviting both of the other Pastors to come and be a part of it. The lead pastor will be invited and if He comes I wont pay him… But my church does charge a clean up fee… but I dont think if they were ivited they would expect money, there supposed to give you a gift..
Post # 5
I put your situation in terms of my church & from what I can figure, if the senior pastor is not marrying you then you wouldn’t pay him anything. Also, I don’t think it’d be mandatory to invite him. We invited almost all of our pastors but that’s cause we’re both close to them. I’m sure that there are plenty of weddings done at our church where our senior pastor doesn’t do the wedding & isn’t invited. If you wanted though you could definitely gift the church for letting y’all marry there… Maybe a small donation?..
Post # 6
thanks everyone for the advice! And now that I have some insight and have thought a little about it, I don’t think I’ll end up inviting them. Not that it would hurt our guest list or anything like that, but it would just be weird to invite them both and not know them. Hmm…I’ll still think about it though, but I really don’t think that I will. lol
Post # 7
You could always send them or drop by a thank you gift afterward for letting you use the church for free. I am sure they won’t think anything of not being invited :o)