Post # 1
My parents went through an awful break up and divorce this last year. They split up October 2011 due to my father having an affair and moving out to live with another woman. My mum, who is 73 and I have had a tough year with it all. Thankfully after a year though we are both getting on with life and enjoying ourselves again! I do not speak to my father no more, not seen him since last year, he was extremely cruel to my mum.
My father’s sister (my Aunty) and Grandma have only rung me twice the whole year and never once to my Mum (My parents were married 30 years and together 33!) The only reason why they called was top ask me what had gone on with the other woman etc – like I wanted to talk about it and another time asking why I wasn’t going to my Grandma’s birthday holiday when my father would be going with his now NEW WIFE I have heard for a week and she wanted to know my reason why not! I did actually then tell my Aunty a few things.
My mum wasn’t very close to them but she was always polite and always would be in contact, especially around birthdays and Christmas. I have been very depressed, and quite upset about what has gone on, and I feel like they didn’t care about me at all. I heard when my Dad moved in with his woman, November 2011, my Dad told me that Grandma and my Aunty have already been on ladies shopping trips with his girlfriend etc! I was very hurt…. as you would imagine!..
…anyway to cut a long story short.. I am getting married next April and my Dad’s family (grandma, Aunty and Uncle and their two kids, my cousins) are not on the Wedding list! One I am also not close to them but also I want my Mum to have a happy day! I know my Grandma will be upset but she has not once spoke to my mum about her feelings, when she never did anything wrong, but instead sides with her Son and accepts his affair! I was writing this to you all because I was in two minds about inviting them was going to ask for help with what to do , thinking I would feel guilty, but actually the more I think about what to write, I more I realise that my mum is my world and I want to have a very happy wedding day as I have had it tough too! If they are not bothered about my family then why should I worry!.. what do you think?
My fiancés family is so loving and gorgeous. I am lucky to be marrying into a lovely family. My mum is so happy for me too, she knows I will be well looked after!! 🙂
Post # 3
I think you’ll regret not inviting your father’s family. I’d be upset with him over the affair too, but you are talking about his sister and mother here. What were you expecting, that they would turn their back on their brother/son and embrace his now ex-wife, who it sounds like they had a cordial but not overly close relationship with? Of course they are going to do their best to ignore the affair, because there’s nothing they can do to change it, your parents are already divorced and they understandably want to have a close relationship with their son/brother.
If I were in your shoes I’d reach out to my dad and his family and try to express to them that you’re still angry and having a hard time with your dad’s affair and everyone’s acceptance of his new wife, and that it’s difficult to see your mom in so much pain, and that you’re willing to try but need them to do some of the reaching out and try to understand where you’re coming from.
Of course, that is only if you want to have a relationship with them…it is your choice, obviously. I’d be furious with my dad too, but I don’t think I’d want to shut him out of my life forever because he is my dad, and if it were me I’d regret not having him there on my wedding day. But of course I don’t really know your relationship with your dad, I’m just speaking based on my point of view.
Post # 4
None of my dads family came and I didn’t even notice until yesterday – they have not said anything either we have no problems with them so I don’t know what’s up with it
Post # 5
Also my parents got divorced this year too invite them and let gthem govern themselfs
Post # 6
Did you send invites your Dad’s family then?…. but got nothing back!?
My Dad will not be invited he already knows this and has told me that he will no longer be in contact either. I am actually fine with this. Weird that it seems but I do not feel anything for him, nor do I miss him….shame really but he acted so wrong he sent me a 18 page letter in the Summer about my Mum, and her family, even about his step children, my sister and brother, that he looked after since they were 8 & 10 and to be told he never loved any of them but only just me! It shocked me, as my elder sister has a boy he is now 15 and always known my Dad to be his Grandad, and still my Dad said he never loved him! so yeah I know I will never feel guilty about not inviting him!