Post # 1
so we are two weeks out, and my sister has asked to bring someone she has started dating that no one in the family has ever met to our wedding.
historically she has created drama at my brothers weddings, and there has already been tension leading up to our wedding when she refused to be a bridesmaid and said she wasn’t sure if she was going to come. She also has a history of trying to one up my sister in law and myself, and has already made jealous remarks about my Fiance and I.
my biggest fear, is that she will use it as an opportunity to “steal the show” and make it about her and the new guy, so at the family table they are focused on getting to know him, not my FI’s family or our friends. It may seem childish, because we are family, but her history has led me to that perception.
On top of that, I literally just spent 10+ hours printing out everything; making seating arrangements, placecards etc, and it feels rude to ask so late.
Would you let her bring this random stranger? Mind you- no one is bringing plus ones, excluding couples and spouses. We know every single person at the wedding.
let me know if I’m just being a bride biatch.
Post # 2
Yeah, I would probably let her. But I told all our siblings they were welcome to bring someone even if it was last minute.
And I couldn’t have cared less what our parents were doing at thier tables during dinner to be honest.
This just wouldn’t be the battle I would pick.
Post # 3
I say yes, let her invite her boyfriend. She reached out to ask, which is as respectful as she can be this late in the game. No one can “steal the show” by introducing one person at a huge wedding. She is probably excited and wants him there to meet the family- which is reasonable. People meet people at weddings.
Also, at the family table, people will talk about whatever they want and it won’t always be about you or your fiance. One of the topics might be the new boyfriend, but they wont be talking about that the entire wedding, and it wont steal the show.
Post # 4
hikingbride : totally agree.
Now that you are close to the big event focus on your wellbeing, eat healthy, sleep well to have sparkling eyes and a glowing skin; maybe do some yoga or spend 10 or 15 minutes alone quite time to clean brain clutter.
Let everyone else be 😉
Post # 5
mannydperry90 : lots of the bees will say yes because it is very popular on here to give everyone a plus one
That is not common in my circles at all. All weddings ive been to have had married, engaged or living together for the most part.
I say no. A wedding isnt a free for all, you haven’t invited him. Your sister obviously knows your family so it’s not like she won’t know anyone there. You might also upset other guests if they find out.
It doesn’t sound like you want him there and you have every right to feel that way. Your sister can go one evening without her new boyfriend.
The only way I would concede is if your parents are helping financially for the wedding and would like him invited.
Post # 6
If she doesn’t have a good relationship with the family as a whole, she’s probably just looking for some way to distract herself from what she imagines is going to be a trying affair. She probably thinks as poorly of the family as the family thinks about her. Let her have a friend to talk to at the table and put between herself and the rest of the family. What harm could it do?
Letting her bring a friend seems like a way to avoid drama. Better she have a friend to talk to rather than cause drama because she’s grumpy and alone and somebody says the wrong thing. Plus, if things get tough, she has somebody to sneak away with.
Who cares if people are distracted by her new boyfriend? It’s your wedding. Nothing could possibly overshadow that.
Post # 7
I agree with lurkingvee – I think it will be less drama to let her bring her boyfriend. She’s probably feeling a bit jealous and wants to show that she has someone too – so she might try to make the wedding about her but how many people will really care about her new boyfriend?
Everyone who is in your wedding are there because they want to celebrate with you and your future husband – you are the reason for the event. A new boyfriend isn’t that interesting…
That being said, I feel that you want to refuse her and that’s a fair call too – if you think you can handle the drama of telling her no, just do it. At the end of the day this is your wedding and if you don’t want a random stranger in your wedding you have every right to tell her no.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Let her bring him. Also, what people choose to focus on is none of your business.
Post # 11
It’s up to you, but you are under no obligation to invite someone she’s just started seeing. If no one else is getting a date, and given she knows everyone there it would be understandable and appropriate to ask if you can meet him another time.
Post # 12
mannydperry90 : You’re under no obligation to, but I would let her bring her date just to keep the peace. It’s not that big of a deal. My DH’s best man / brother brought his “female friend” that I had never met to our wedding. She wore a pretty risque dress that all of my church guests still talk about. lol. But what can you do? It doesn’t take away from your day or marrying the person you love.
All weddings have a little drama.
Post # 13
I think it’s extraordinarily rude for anyone to suddenly ask for an extra guest to attend, especially two weeks away from your wedding.
That aside, I think your fears about your sister stealing the show are over the top. Honestly, no one is going to care about some rando she dragged along. They probably won’t even remember his name afterwards. The entire wedding is about you and your husband to be. I promise, unless she dances naked on a table or starts punching people, there’s not much she can do to take the attention off you. I’d be annoyed, but I’d let him attend.
Post # 14
you’re completely right that it’s rude for her to ask this late. BUT based on your description of her, it’s probably a good idea to let her bring him if it will keep her distracted and happy. and you’ve gota know that if you don’t let her, it’s just going to feed the drama troll more.
Post # 15
Is she being rude? Yes. But ask yourself….is this a hill you want to die on? Is it worth the added drama and stress? I’d just tell her yes, because I think your siblings should be allowed a +1 anyway. At the end of the day, who cares if people are trying to get to know him at your wedding. You’re going to be way too busy to even think about it.