Do I let my sister bring a guy no one has ever met to our wedding!

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I let her bring this stranger?
    Yes : (85 votes)
    71 %
    No : (34 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9905 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Yeah, I would probably let her. But I told all our siblings they were welcome to bring someone even if it was last minute.

    And I couldn’t have cared less what our parents were doing at thier tables during dinner to be honest. 

    This just wouldn’t be the battle I would pick.

    Post # 3
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee

    I say yes, let her invite her boyfriend. She reached out to ask, which is as respectful as she can be this late in the game. No one can “steal the show” by introducing one person at a huge wedding. She is probably excited and wants him there to meet the family- which is reasonable. People meet people at weddings.

    Also, at the family table, people will talk about whatever they want and it won’t always be about you or your fiance. One of the topics might be the new boyfriend, but they wont be talking about that the entire wedding, and it wont steal the show.

    Post # 4
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2000

    hikingbride : totally agree. 

     

    Now that you are close to the big event focus on your wellbeing, eat healthy, sleep well to have sparkling eyes and a glowing skin; maybe do some yoga or spend 10 or 15 minutes alone quite time to clean brain clutter. 

    Let everyone else be 😉 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1655 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    mannydperry90 :   lots of the bees will say yes because it is very popular on here to give everyone a plus one

    That is not common in my circles at all.  All weddings ive been to have had married, engaged or living together for the most part.

    I say no.  A wedding isnt a free for all, you haven’t invited him.  Your sister obviously knows your family so it’s not like she won’t know anyone there.  You might also upset other guests if they find out.  

    It doesn’t sound like you want him there and you have every right to feel that way.  Your sister can go one evening without her new boyfriend.

    The only way I would concede is if your parents are helping financially for the wedding and would like him invited.

    Post # 6
    Member
    659 posts
    Busy bee

    If she doesn’t have a good relationship with the family as a whole, she’s probably just looking for some way to distract herself from what she imagines is going to be a trying affair. She probably thinks as poorly of the family as the family thinks about her. Let her have a friend to talk to at the table and put between herself and the rest of the family. What harm could it do?

    Letting her bring a friend seems like a way to avoid drama. Better she have a friend to talk to rather than cause drama because she’s grumpy and alone and somebody says the wrong thing. Plus, if things get tough, she has somebody to sneak away with. 

    Who cares if people are distracted by her new boyfriend? It’s your wedding. Nothing could possibly overshadow that. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    387 posts
    Helper bee

    I agree with lurkingvee – I think it will be less drama to let her bring her boyfriend. She’s probably feeling a bit jealous and wants to show that she has someone too – so she might try to make the wedding about her but how many people will really care about her new boyfriend?

    Everyone who is in your wedding are there because they want to celebrate with you and your future husband – you are the reason for the event. A new boyfriend isn’t that interesting… 

    That being said, I feel that you want to refuse her and that’s a fair call too – if you think you can handle the drama of telling her no, just do it. At the end of the day this is your wedding and if you don’t want a random stranger in your wedding you have every right to tell her no. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    10121 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Let her bring him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3253 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Let him come.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6353 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    Let her bring him.  Also, what people choose to focus on is none of your business.

    Post # 11
    Member
    12684 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    It’s up to you, but you are under no obligation to invite someone she’s just started seeing. If no one else is getting a date, and given she knows everyone there it would be understandable and appropriate to ask if you can meet him another time. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1719 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    mannydperry90 :  You’re under no obligation to, but I would let her bring her date just to keep the peace. It’s not that big of a deal. My DH’s best man / brother brought his “female friend” that I had never met to our wedding. She wore a pretty risque dress that all of my church guests still talk about. lol. But what can you do? It doesn’t take away from your day or marrying the person you love.

    All weddings have a little drama.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    3056 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it’s extraordinarily rude for anyone to suddenly ask for an extra guest to attend, especially two weeks away from your wedding. 

    That aside, I think your fears about your sister stealing the show are over the top. Honestly, no one is going to care about some rando she dragged along. They probably won’t even remember his name afterwards. The entire wedding is about you and your husband to be. I promise, unless she dances naked on a table or starts punching people, there’s not much she can do to take the attention off you. I’d be annoyed, but I’d let him attend.

    Post # 14
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    you’re completely right that it’s rude for her to ask this late.  BUT based on your description of her, it’s probably a good idea to let her bring him if it will keep her distracted and happy.  and you’ve gota know that if you don’t let her, it’s just going to feed the drama troll more.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7138 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Is she being rude? Yes. But ask yourself….is this a hill you want to die on? Is it worth the added drama and stress? I’d just tell her yes, because I think your siblings should be allowed a +1 anyway. At the end of the day, who cares if people are trying to get to know him at your wedding. You’re going to be way too busy to even think about it.

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