Do I let my sister bring a guy no one has ever met to our wedding!

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I let her bring this stranger?
    Yes : (85 votes)
    71 %
    No : (34 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    1034 posts
    Bumble bee

    Regarding stealing the show, you realize people won’t be sitting at tables discussing you and your new husband 100% of the time, right?

    She’s going to talk to people about her new boyfriend. Whether he is present or not.

    If you don’t invite him, it will probably go down like this:

    “Hey Karen, what’s new? You look great.”

    “Omg I’m so happy for my sister. Work is going well, I’m dating this great guy Tom.”

    “Introduce us!”

    (Insert sister looking sad) “I can’t.”

    “Why not?”

    “My sister wouldn’t let me invite him.” (Insert sob story about how mean you are.)

    And then it gets around that you are a petty bitch.

    Post # 17
    Member
    644 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    mannydperry90 :  I wouldn’t. She’s just met this guy. And it’s honestly a little late. Based on your description of her, it sounds like she is up to something.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2406 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    Unless her date is a celebrity, and not just some guy nobody knows, I can’t see where he will upset the apple cart. 

    It is being comically controlling to worry about what the other guests are going to talk about at your wedding. If you are worrying about that you should really seek to calm down about it.

    The 2 families aren’t going to do their major ‘getting to know’ one another at your wedding, that comes in time.

    Summer of 2016 my niece brought some guy to a family barbecue. Now he is her husband.

    Post # 19
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee

    This is your day, so if you don’t feel comfortable inviting him, then don’t. Even if you have to, you’ll be more focused on your new husband. Your friends and family will be giving you and your husband the attention anyway. Maybe you won’t even notice your sister’s date!

    Post # 20
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee

    Although I think she’s being rude and it would be completely understandable if you said no I think I would say yes…

    well i’d definitely say yes, I believe siblings should have a +1 

     

    Post # 21
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    If you do let her bring him, make sure he doesn’t end up in the family photos! 

    Post # 22
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would, I’m not afraid of sister’s boyfriends. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    2131 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    My thought is that if you tell her no, she may bring him anyway, just judging by your post. If she brings him anyway, that’s going to lead to more drama. I personally feel that the sister of the bride should be able to bring someone. The focus will be on you and your Fiance. You’re the bride and groom! No need to worry about her stealing your thunder. Think about it, what’s more interesting to family – getting to know the new additions to the family, or getting to know some rando guy they may never see again? With your sister’s past, your family is going to be focused on you, not this new guy.

    Post # 24
    Member
    5816 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’d give her a +1 regardless, 

    BUT think of it this way- if this guy is a Brand New Dude, their relationship will still be in it’s honeymoon phase Ergo sis will still be in the ‘trying to impress him phase’, the ‘letting him see glimpses of crazy’ phase won’t kick in for another 3-5 months yet…..so think of New Dude not so much as her +1 but as her babysitter. smile

    Post # 25
    Member
    1660 posts
    Bumble bee

    RobbieAndJuliahaha :  this. I was about to say that if he’s actually a new bf then she’ll probably be on better behavior around him. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2020

    mannydperry90 :  I’d let her bring him, not only because I think siblings should get plus ones, but also because I think you’re going to avoid drama by letting her. As some of the other bees have said, if she just started dating him she’s probably still trying to impress him, which means she’s much less likely to start drama at your wedding! So it’s almost like he’s a buffer between you and her crazy lol. It’s definitely annoying that it’s so last minute but I would let this one go, and just enjoy your day:) also there’s no way it will steal your thunder, you’re the bride!!! Everyone is there to celebrate your marriage, no random new boyfriend of your sister’s can change that:) 

    Post # 27
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    If I was on the fence, I went with the Christmas/Roomie rule–Would that family member invite this guest to our family Christmas or do they live together? 

    Post # 28
    Member
    1503 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    mannydperry90 :  I noticed the majority of people saying yes on here and wondering if they read the actual post first…if it is a huge inconvenience for you and she was forwarned about bringing someone, i woudl stick to my guns. If it’s not a big deal or huge inconvenience for you then let her. And if you say no just make sure you’re clear as to why, ‘you were told no last minute invites, sorry, no room, $100 a plate’. It’s your wedding. If you don’t want him there, that’s fine. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    9454 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    re: how annoying it is that you’ve just finished printing the seating chart etc.. and how rude it is to invite someone with only 2 weeks to go.  100% empathise–my Mother-In-Law told me under 2 weeks before the wedding that a friend of hers had bought a ticket to fly up from California to come to my wedding.  (MIL does not ask things of me/us, she tells me/us what’s happening.  It’s rather annoying.)  I had to scramble all over town to get the supplies to make a place card for this woman (frustratingly, the paper store I’d purchased the other stationary at was fresh out.) and I had to re-do the seating charts.. but in the end, I decided it wasn’t worth hearing Mother-In-Law bitch about her mean daughter in law till the end of time.  

    My point is–I agree it’s really rude and really frustrating and I’m 100% with you there, but I personally didn’t think re-doing the seating and printing the required stationary was worth the hassle of fighting with Mother-In-Law.  I don’t think, in your case, it’s worth the fight either.

    As for people being distracted–agree with PPs.  People are going to ask about him either way.  And if your sister is determined to make a scene, she’ll do it with or without a sidekick. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    Considering her history and your lack of trust in her, I would say no. If it were my sister, I would let her simply because she’s trustworthy, responsible, and mature. I know she would bring someone of good character and kick him out if he weren’t. Your sister does not sound this way.

    This is your wedding, you have absolute say in who is invited for this special event. I recommend not inviting your sister’s boyfriend of two weeks so close to the actual wedding, especially since it sounds as if it’s only going to cause you more stress at this point. 

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