(Closed) Do I need to chill, or am i right to be bothered by this?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I be bothered by this?
    you need to chill : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Dayum girl! You have better control than I have! I would have ripped her a new one. : (234 votes)
    75 %
    I would ignore the situation : (16 votes)
    5 %
    I would talk to anne and tell her how her post made you feel : (60 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2822 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I don’t think you are being crazy at all. I’d feel the same way! I can’t believe she posted that on his FB.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    1- what she did was completely out of line and disrespectful to you AND him. 

    2- Now that she has declared her feelings for him ( in public), I can see how it would be hard to not feel possesive over him… but  it sounds like you two  have a very open communication line, so there should be no need to feel threatened

    3- this just further confirms my growing dislike of Facebook! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    no, definitely not crazy, you have every right to be upset.

    Just keep this in mind – your Fiance was completely honest with you and even when you told him you wouldn’t stop him, he CHOSE not to go see her. You have a great guy who obviously isn’t going anywhere. She has no power over you or your Fiance so you have no reason to be threatened by her. I bet if you told him how insecure she has made you, he would be right by your side to squash those fears 🙂

    You’re also a better person than I am because I would have ripped into her as soon as she said a single word to me. Kudos for being the bigger person.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    No! You are not being crazy! Um, there’s absolutely no question about this girl’s intentions here…and how can your fiance really have a solid friendship with somebody who a.) has already made it clear she wants more than a friendship and b.) dissed the lady he loves. I wouldn’t forbid him from spending time with her in a group or anything…but yeah, I would NOT feel comfortable with the two of them spending time alone. Not because I don’t trust my SO, but because I don’t want her to think she has something with him she doesn’t.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4325 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It sounds like this all happened recently, so it makes sense that you still have some insecurity about him spending time with her.  Your Fiance clearly understands, since he consulted with you about the possibility of hanging out with her and he was fine with your response.

    I think time will let the insecurity melt away (assuming there are no new developments), as long as it’s only about this one girl. Of course it bothers you – she tried to jump on your guy as soon as she thought he was single, and she’s still reaching out to him even though she knows you’re engaged now. Try not to dwell on it, and trust your guy.Smile

    Post # 7
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    You’re not being possessive at all. This woman wants to have a relationship with your fiance and she called you a bitch. No way in f’ing hell would I be okay with my man going out for drinks with someone who had the audacity to post something like that on his FB wall. He should have flat out said no. Did he ever speak with “Anne” after this whole thing went down? She’d be getting a one way ticket out of our lives after pulling that shit. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    3799 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    WOW WTF.

    After she admitted that she has liked him for a long time, I think that it’s ok of you to say you dont feel comfortable with him going to the bar with her. I think you dont have anything to worry about, though, since he sat down with you and watched a movie and didnt act as though he wanted to go out with her. If he would have fought with you over it then yes, you could have reason to worry, but it sounds like he didnt care so no biggie!

    If you really are this bothered by it, maybe you should say something to her the next time you see her and she acts like nothing happened. Just a simple “I was hurt by what you posted” could suffice…since it seems as though you were nice to her all this time.

    Post # 9
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    NOT over reacting! i would have point blank told Darling Husband no haha! and i probably would have gotten mad that he considered it!

    poor thing, he got a clinger (and he knows it!) .

    she crossed a major line!  i wouldnt trust her at all!

    Post # 9
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Normally i am always the one telling people to chill with the insecurity/possessiveness, but…

    HOLY HELL, he had NO BUSINESS hanging out with her after she wrote something like that. I’m a little confused by the post – did he see what she wrote? You said you showed Fiance the page, but then you say she deleted it before he read it.  Either way, if another friend had already called to tell him about it, he knows that it’s not just you overreacting. 

    I hang out on my own with guy or girl friends all the time, and I’m fine with Darling Husband doing the same. But neither of us would be ok with the other spending time alone (AND AT A BAR! SHEESH!) with someone who had said something like that.

    Post # 9
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You’re not crazy! 🙂 The awesome thing is that you have an open communication line and you can trust each other. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    You have more restraint than I do.  I would have confronted Anne in or after class the next day and let her stumble her way outta that one.

    Props to your man for not complicating the situation by hanging out with you instead of going to a bar with a girl who just professed her crush publicly within minutes of a FB status change.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9642 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    OMG.  That would make me unbelievably upset.  You have every right to be jealous and upset.  What the hell is she thinking??  And, why would your Fiance even say he would “think” about going to a bar with her, knowing she is after him?  The fact that you haven’t let both of them have it is quite a testament to your calmness.  This situation is completely unacceptable and you have every right to put your foot down. SHE blew it by that post (this is yet another reason I HATE FACEBOOK).  If I were you I would have already confronted her.  That’s just me.  And I would tell him if he goes anywhere with her he’d better be prepared for the consequences of damaging your relationship.  YOU COME FIRST.  Period. End of story.  YOU ARE NOT INSECURE.  You are normal.  You are in love.  That is a naturally protective way to feel.  She is trying to threaten your bond and you need to tell her to back off.  Screw politness.  Lol.  Sorry, I’m passionate about this kind of thing.  Can you tell?

    The topic ‘Do I need to chill, or am i right to be bothered by this?’ is closed to new replies.

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