(Closed) Do I need to chill, or am i right to be bothered by this?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I be bothered by this?

    you need to chill

    Dayum girl! You have better control than I have! I would have ripped her a new one.

    I would ignore the situation

    I would talk to anne and tell her how her post made you feel

  • Post # 54
    278 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Hhahahahaha…wow. She is an idiot. Yeah, I would be mad.

    If she ever texts him again to hang out, just go with him. That should clear things up. And if she whines to him about it, then he would have the opportunity to tell her to back off.

    Post # 55
    1860 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You should post on his wall. “LOL, well that was embarassing…”

    Post # 56
    4858 posts
    Honey bee

    Honestly, I would talk to her about it so she doesn’t push it any further.  Tell her you saw it and how you BOTH feel about it.  That ought to nip it in the bud.

    Post # 57
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Pinksapphire:  TOTALLY THIS! 100%

    View original reply
    @UpstateCait:  AGAIN, THIS!

    haha ๐Ÿ™‚ Those two sufficiently summed up my thoughts completely!

    Post # 58
    21 posts
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @FutureMrsMenjivar:  I completely ditto this!!


    NO NO NO and NO. Get her out, and get her out now. I don’t care if they used to be friends, they surely arent anymore!! I cannot STAND sneaky women like that and honestly, she’ll probably try to pull some sketchy things again if they keep running in the same circles.

    I would talk to your Fiance and clearly state your feelings. Maybe he won’t give two thoughts to cutting her off. This girl obviously doesn’t care about boundaries.

    THat being said, I give you serious congrats for not knocking her out or at least slashing her tires (lol jk jk… ๐Ÿ˜‰ kinda) Just remember, the best revenge is living well, and its better to be classy and staunch and not let her know how much she threw you for a loop.

    If you don’t let her know how youre feeling about the situation then you will have all the power. She probably expects you to snap over it. Don’t give her the satisfaction.

    Ew! I’m mad for you!

    Post # 59
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    re-wrote what she meant…

    Hi (Fi),

    SOOOOO glad you finally broke up with that girl, I’ve been waiting FOREVER! I didn’t know if it would even happen because deep down I know she’s great and I’m really jealous. I know this is the only chance I have, so please let me be your rebound girl. I really want to get in your pants and claim you as mine before you change your mind, so lets skip the whole normal courting phase. I’m absolutely desparate, so please please please call me or I’ll call you.

    Personally, I’d confront her (with plenty of witnesses and your fiance’s approval – tell him it’s a girl thing you have to do to protect your pride!) and let her know that you read what she posted and since she hasn’t mentioned it, you thought you would. You seriously thought she was your friend also before she posted that she thought you were a bitch. Unlike her, you’re willing to tell it to her face that you think she’s a two-faced bitch that really really hurt your feelings. I’d also make it clear that your fiance can remain friends with her but she doesn’t have a chance in hell to ever try and say that again. Try not to sound hostile, just sound hurt. 

    Post # 60
    1345 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Wow, I have to say that I am amazed at your self control. I would have confronted her. Not only did she cross the line with your relationship, she said nasty things about you.

    Honestly, if I was in your position, I understand that your Fiance cannot be too blunt, but I sure the hell would be. He may work with her but you do not. If I was you, I would totally call her out on the bitch that she is (but I would probably do it passive agressively).


    Post # 61
    74 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Really? I mean first she posts this at lightning speed, on his WALL, insulting you to everyone and then texts him to go out to a bar? Hell no you are not wrong to be bothered!

    This wench is as bold as a roach in daylight. Keep an eye on her.


    Post # 62
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    I just can’t believe she had the nerve to post that on his WALL, where everyone could see it. You handled yourself very well, I wouldn’t have had the restraint to do so. But I also think you do need to have a chat with her about the whole thing. 

    Post # 63
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Ok this post hit close to home.

    A few months into me and FI’s relationship, we were hanging out together and one of his friends txted him asking if he would take her out clubbing on her 18th birthday. Now I don’t care who he hangs with, and I know  he happens to have a lot of friends that are girls so it didn’t really faze me. My Fiance is super laid back so I literally was reading the texts behind him ( He was also txting one of our mutual friends, and I was waiting on a response from that text.)He asked me if I minded if he went clubbing ( I didn’t of course I totally trust him). Then he receives another text. She asks him if he could not tell me about it. At which point my Fiance shows me the text and I was ticked. Livid. Unfortunately that was not the first nor probably the last time some girl has tried to get him to cheat. As long as you trust him and know there’s no issue it’ll all be okay… There’s always going to be some girl that doesn’t know how to play in her own sandbox. It sounds like you do trust him and I think it’ll be okay.


    If I were in your shoes though I would have probably posted a reaallly nasty wall post on her wall, to say the least. Also, if I could get ahold of her number she would’ve definitely heard some mean words also. Your self control is absolutely AMAZING!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Give yourself a pat in the back for that. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Post # 64
    2357 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would have wrote something on his wall like “this “bitch” loves her new fiancé!!!” 

    I would want her to know I saw the message, to know we are in no way friends anymore, and to know she’s crazy! 

    I think it’s wise for your Fiance to protect his grades and position in his program, but heck no is she getting time to be alone and lie about how she was “just kidding” or some BS like that. 

    Post # 65
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Normally I find some of the ‘jealous’ SO posts a little out there, but she was definitely out of line, both in posting that on his wall (it’s public to his friends, for god’s sake) and in then inviting him out with her after it was clear that in fact he DIDN’T end his relationship with you.

    I almost never agree with requesting that your SO stops hanging out with someone, but that’s really inappropriate behaviour. However, I totally understand the dynamics of a small academic department and that makes things a whole other realm of difficult. I don’t know what the solution is if he still has to work with her, although I think you would be well within your rights to ask that he not meet with her outside of work-related things and that he not meet with her alone. Regardless of the fact that’s he’s with you etc, it’s just a really inappropriate thing to have happened. It’s not a matter of trust, but of respect, in my opinion.

    Post # 66
    127 posts
    Blushing bee

    Hey, one thing I figured out in my second marriage lol was this ~


    Whenever a scenario comes up like the one you had, and you question your motive – reverse the situation. In otherwords, how would your fiance feel if a guy who was supposedly your  male friend who said the same thing to you on facebook? Would he feel comfortable in your relationship to let you go out with someone who wants you to be more then just a friend? Theres your answer.

    Then from there you can usually figure out whether its an overreaction or def. an action. This time, this girl was sooo whack out of line that she should be put outside and left there,  by both of you. Healthy relationships are tested enough daily without having someone come in and sabotage deliberately; they need to know immediately that thats not acceptable by both of you.

    Good luck!

    Post # 67
    3026 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I really think that you need to speak with Anne. Honestly though, I would probably stop talking with her and so would SO. I think it is inappropriate for him to be friends with her and since she hit on your man and called you a bitch the second she thought you broke up she is not the type of person either of you should bother waisting your time on. Seriously…..she does not seem like a very good person. Something like this is going to happen again and it might get worse. They might be out at a bar and tipsy and she might make her move…NOT COOL. 

    Good luck! 

    Post # 68
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @LovelyLaura:  Yes. Exactly.


    Drawing lines on who he can be friends with in general? Not ok

    Drawing the line before this girl who would clearly throw herself at him given the chance? Ok!

    The topic ‘Do I need to chill, or am i right to be bothered by this?’ is closed to new replies.

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