(Closed) Do I need to give a gift?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2007

I really don’t think you need to bring a gift – you are doing her a huge favor and I’m sure she knows it!  Babysitters you can trust on a big day are pretty important and rare!  If you were a full fledged wedding guest, you would be able to dance and party however you wanted, but you can’t do that if you are babysitting.  A card would be very nice, and perhaps you could mention how happy you were to be able to help them out on their special day – so she knows you considered it a favor and are not expecting to be paid.  I did something like this for a friend of a friend and she fully expected to pay me for it (I didn’t let her). 

Post # 4
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

If anything, she should be giving YOU a gift. You’re not technically invited to the wedding, so I would say no.

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with gji.. you shouldn’t feel obligated to bring a gift.  The fact that you are doing this HUGE (trust me, it’s a HUGE favor) for her is a gift enough.  A card is definitely acceptable, even though not really necessary either.  The time you are giving to her to not have to worry about her step-kids during the reception is more valuable than any gift you could give her.

Post # 6
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree with the above posts! This is a HUGE favor you are doing for the bride and family.

Post # 7
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Agreed with previous posters – you deserve a some sort of medal and a big glass of wine at the end of the night!

Post # 8
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I vote for a card, but then again, I’m a card happy kind of person. 

Post # 9
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Did you get an invitation in the mail?  If not, then no gift! 

I also vote for the card only.

Post # 10
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Card only, and she gets you the gift.

Post # 11
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I agree with Niki!!!!

Post # 12
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree too! And is she paying you?  She should be… I hope that she gets you something if she’s too cheap to pay you! You should be getting paid too! (but that’s just my opinion, i’m 24, i still babysit and i always get paid, even by my friends… but after the wedding, i will no longer accept payment from my friends. Clients yes, friends, no.)

Post # 13
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

No gift necessary.  You’re not really a guest – you’re more like an unpaid vendor.  I agree that SHE should be getting you at least a small gift – to express her appreciation – if not paying you outright.

That said, a nice card congratulating the couple is never out of line.

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