Post # 1
My husband is a groomsman at his brother’s wedding and I am a bridesmaid. Between his tux, my dress/shoes, hair/makeup, nails, the bachelorette and the bachelor party, helping throw the bridal shower, spending money at their stag and doe to show our support, we have racked up over $1000 (and that doesnt include the cost of driving up to the wedding/hotel for the weekeend and food for the weekend). Is it necessary to include a wedding gift on to of it all? Sure an extra $100 on top of all of that doesn’t seem like much, but then again, its not like we can really afford anything extra. Would it be terrible if we didn’t give them a gift?
Post # 2
A gift is never required. I will say though I would never feel comfortable attending a wedding without a gift. That doesn’t mean it has to be an expensive gift, but I’d always give something.
Post # 3
I think you’re ok! I would give them a card though.
Post # 4
smeeee: You don’t have to, but I would find a way to carve out $20-25 for a nice picture frame or something like that. A wedding gift does not have to be expensive, especially when you’re already shelling out so much, but I’m sure it would mean a lot to them and would probably make you feel good too. Even $10 can get you something nice from the clearance shelves at Pier 1 or Bed Bath and Beyond.
Post # 5
Ditto.. A reasonably priced gift with a card would be perfect.
Post # 6
smeeee: Popular opinion from this website will tell you a gift is not required. Personally, I don’t feel right going to a birthday, shower, wedding etc. empty handed. And no matter what anyone says, it will be noticed if you brought a gift or not. The couple just wouldn’t bring it up with you as it’s not polite. You don’t need to give a gift of $100. You can give something smaller and I’m sure the couple will be happy with whatever you give. You will also feel good about not second guessing yourself after that.
Post # 7
Normally I would say no, but it is his brother…I would try to give SOMETHING as a token.
Post # 8
You can give a gift that isn’t $100. You never HAVE to give a gift, but I feel like it’s the polite thing to do. FWIW, I never give $100+ gifts lol even though on this site that’s what seems to be common.
Post # 9
smeeee: Nope, but give them a card! I had many of my bridesmaids not give us a gift and I was totally fine w/that!
Post # 10
I didn’t expect a thing from my bridesmaids or groomsmen to be honest. if their partners attended I think that may be a bit different though. I would never go to a wedding without a gift unless I was in the wedding party. If my husband attended as a guest I would still give a gift.
Post # 11
A gift is not required. But–it’s his brother and your BIL and future SIL. I would do something, even if it’s small and sentimental.
Post # 12
I would see it as an investment in family harmony and would what we normally give for weddings of people close to us.
Post # 13
I think it’s rude, especially considering it’s your brother. I’d just be a bit careful with what you’re planning on spending that weekend. Any moments where you would be buying yourself a meal, cut down a bit. Bring a lunch for the car ride. Plan to sell your bridesmaid dress on Tradesy. There’s a bunch of ways you could skip out.
Post # 14
I think that if you’re in the wedding party, you shouldn’t be expected to give a gift. However, I know that most wedding party members do anyway – but I feel like the bride and groom should be very blatant to those in the wedding party that no gifts are expected.
Post # 15
Thank you everyone for your input! I like the idea of giving a card and a picture frame or some sort of sentiment to show our support.