Do I need to give a wedding gift?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
5981 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

A gift is never required. I will say though I would never feel comfortable attending a wedding without a gift. That doesn’t mean it has to be an expensive gift, but I’d always give something. 

Post # 3
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I think you’re ok! I would give them a card though.

Post # 4
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

smeeee:  You don’t have to, but I would find a way to carve out $20-25 for a nice picture frame or something like that. A wedding gift does not have to be expensive, especially when you’re already shelling out so much, but I’m sure it would mean a lot to them and would probably make you feel good too. Even $10 can get you something nice from the clearance shelves at Pier 1 or Bed Bath and Beyond.

Post # 5
Member
89 posts
Worker bee

Ditto.. A reasonably priced gift with a card would be perfect. 

Post # 6
Member
3803 posts
Honey bee

smeeee:  Popular opinion from this website will tell you a gift is not required. Personally, I don’t feel right going to a birthday, shower, wedding etc. empty handed. And no matter what anyone says, it will be noticed if you brought a gift or not. The couple just wouldn’t bring it up with you as it’s not polite. You don’t need to give a gift of $100. You can give something smaller and I’m sure the couple will be happy with whatever you give. You will also feel good about not second guessing yourself after that. 

Post # 7
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee

Normally I would say no, but it is his brother…I would try to give SOMETHING as a token.

Post # 8
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

You can give a gift that isn’t $100. You never HAVE to give a gift, but I feel like it’s the polite thing to do. FWIW, I never give $100+ gifts lol even though on this site that’s what seems to be common.

Post # 9
Member
5165 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

smeeee:  Nope, but give them a card! I had many of my bridesmaids not give us a gift and I was totally fine w/that!

Post # 10
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I didn’t expect a thing from my bridesmaids or groomsmen to be honest. if their partners attended I think that may be a bit different though. I would never go to a wedding without a gift unless I was in the wedding party. If my husband attended as a guest I would still give a gift.

Post # 11
Member
4897 posts
Honey bee

A gift is not required. But–it’s his brother and your Brother-In-Law and future SIL. I would do something, even if it’s small and sentimental. 

Post # 12
Member
1903 posts
Buzzing bee

I would see it as an investment in family harmony and would what we normally give for weddings of people close to us.

Post # 13
Member
471 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s rude, especially considering it’s your brother. I’d just be a bit careful with what you’re planning on spending that weekend. Any moments where you would be buying yourself a meal, cut down a bit. Bring a lunch for the car ride. Plan to sell your bridesmaid dress on Tradesy. There’s a bunch of ways you could skip out.

Post # 14
Member
2510 posts
Sugar bee

I think that if you’re in the wedding party, you shouldn’t be expected to give a gift. However, I know that most wedding party members do anyway – but I feel like the bride and groom should be very blatant to those in the wedding party that no gifts are expected.

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