(Closed) Do I need to give money as a guest?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

What’s the personal gift?

Post # 3
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I think if you give some gift, it should be completely fine. I would love a homemade gift! It’s completely the thought that counts in my book.

Post # 4
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

A personal gift with a card is wonderful. No need to bring extra cash as well. A lot of people I know only put cash in a card when they do not have a physical gift to give.

Post # 5
6269 posts
Bee Keeper

I think your gift would be lovely.  I’m certainly not expecting any gifts from anyone.  I know some people might like to give us a gift but we’ve invited the people we’ve invited because we want them there on our special day, not because of a gift or not.  I know things are different in the UK (we don’t do bridal showers or reharsal dinners etc), so maybe we are generally less ‘gifty’ but I think my point still stands. 

Post # 6
1497 posts
Bumble bee

If they were living together before it makes sense the registry would be mostly expensive items, most likely upgrades to what they already have. 

The gift you have is probably fine. 

Post # 7
4584 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, of course you don’t. The gift is plenty, regardless of what it is. 

Give a card for sure, though. I really treasured opening those after my wedding and reading the messages.

Post # 8
9426 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

These threads are always interesting… on the bee if a bride expects gifts, she’s being unreasonable, gift-grabby, entitled, etc… but if a guest considers not giving one, they’re being rude.

Anyway, I’m gonna stick with what I personally think, which is your presence is gift enough (though, IMO, a card is always a nice gesture).  A card and a homemade gift should be very appreciated, and if the couple doesn’t feel like that’s “enough” for them, they’re not very good friends… 

Post # 9
3287 posts
Sugar bee

I think your friend would be very lucky to receive a hadmade gift.  

Post # 10
9583 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

You absolutely do not have to give cash or a registry gift by any standards of US etiquette. Nor do you have to give a gift at all- though it is customary to do so. A handmade gift and card is fine. 

Post # 11
2663 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
brittxox:  you only gift a) if you want to and b) what you can afford.

Post # 12
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If cash is tight then cash is tight. I wouldnt give money if I knew it was needed for us as a family. I think a personal gift is a lovely idea. 

Post # 13
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
MrsBuesleBee:  Please don’t speak for all of the U.S as a whole. There are huge regional differences among different areas as well as among different cultures within the U.S.

For example in the Northeast, Italians, Asians, Russians (to name a few) – all give money in an envelope at the wedding, and to not is considered a huge faux pas.

Post # 14
1274 posts
Bumble bee

What’s the personal gift? I think if you include a card with a nice message to the bride and groom that is enough. 


Post # 15
638 posts
Busy bee

What culture? As clawsnpaws says, different culture, different standard. If Asian, DEFINITELY GIVE MONEY.

The topic ‘Do I need to give money as a guest?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors