Post # 1
Hi everyone! I have a question on wedding etiquette as a guest. My hubby and I were invited to my friend’s wedding. I have known her for a few years but we are not best friends or talk on a regular basis. We are kind of strapped for cash right now as he is the only one working and I’m a stay at home mom. I was not able to go to the bridal shower because everything on her registry was rediculously expensive – even though they have had an apartment together for a few years now. I got a personal gift made for her and her husband and I was thinking of just giving this as a gift at her wedding, but my husband said we need to give money as well. What do you guys think? Is it rude to just give the gift or would I need to give an envelope with money as well?
Post # 2
What’s the personal gift?
Post # 3
I think if you give some gift, it should be completely fine. I would love a homemade gift! It’s completely the thought that counts in my book.
Post # 4
A personal gift with a card is wonderful. No need to bring extra cash as well. A lot of people I know only put cash in a card when they do not have a physical gift to give.
Post # 5
I think your gift would be lovely. I’m certainly not expecting any gifts from anyone. I know some people might like to give us a gift but we’ve invited the people we’ve invited because we want them there on our special day, not because of a gift or not. I know things are different in the UK (we don’t do bridal showers or reharsal dinners etc), so maybe we are generally less ‘gifty’ but I think my point still stands.
Post # 6
If they were living together before it makes sense the registry would be mostly expensive items, most likely upgrades to what they already have.
The gift you have is probably fine.
Post # 7
No, of course you don’t. The gift is plenty, regardless of what it is.
Give a card for sure, though. I really treasured opening those after my wedding and reading the messages.
Post # 8
These threads are always interesting… on the bee if a bride expects gifts, she’s being unreasonable, gift-grabby, entitled, etc… but if a guest considers not giving one, they’re being rude.
Anyway, I’m gonna stick with what I personally think, which is your presence is gift enough (though, IMO, a card is always a nice gesture). A card and a homemade gift should be very appreciated, and if the couple doesn’t feel like that’s “enough” for them, they’re not very good friends…
Post # 9
I think your friend would be very lucky to receive a hadmade gift.
Post # 10
You absolutely do not have to give cash or a registry gift by any standards of US etiquette. Nor do you have to give a gift at all- though it is customary to do so. A handmade gift and card is fine.
Post # 11
you only gift a) if you want to and b) what you can afford.
Post # 12
If cash is tight then cash is tight. I wouldnt give money if I knew it was needed for us as a family. I think a personal gift is a lovely idea.
Post # 13
Please don’t speak for all of the U.S as a whole. There are huge regional differences among different areas as well as among different cultures within the U.S.
For example in the Northeast, Italians, Asians, Russians (to name a few) – all give money in an envelope at the wedding, and to not is considered a huge faux pas.
Post # 14
What’s the personal gift? I think if you include a card with a nice message to the bride and groom that is enough.
Post # 15
What culture? As clawsnpaws says, different culture, different standard. If Asian, DEFINITELY GIVE MONEY.