(Closed) Do I need to give plus one’s to separated parents???

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do divorced parents need a plus one?
    Yes, let your parents bring a date! : (16 votes)
    46 %
    No, it's your day, you don't want to be embarrassed by some random date you might not know. : (13 votes)
    37 %
    Other, see below..... : (6 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @WineAndCupcakes: Are they seeing anyone? If so, give them a plus one. Or ask them if they want to bring someone. I’m certain they’ll both appreciate having the option of bringing a date, especially if the other is involved with someone. 🙂

    Post # 4
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would talk to them. If your parents would like to bring someone, I think you should try to accomodate that. The only reason I would say no, is if bringing dates would create big drama. (ie. like dad left mom and wants to flaunt a 20somethin’ blonde on arm)

    What exactly would embarrass you about it?

    Post # 5
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If they have a Boyfriend or Best Friend or Girlfriend, then they should come. I don’t think you should worry about it – your mom and dad probably won’t bring a random date to their daughter’s wedding. It would be weird if you told them that their significant others couldn’t come, though.

    Post # 6
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It depends on your parents’ situation. If either of my parents brought a date, drama would ensue and nobody would have a good time, but neither of them really date anyways so its not like I had to tell them “no”, it was kind of just assumed.. plus nobody is allowed random dates at my wedding, only people we know

    Post # 7
    2397 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If they’re seeing someone, I would probably extend an invite to their SO.  If they’re not, I’d ask them if they were planning on bringing a date. 

    I don’t know if this is like your situation, but my husband’s parents are divorced, and each were dating someone new when our wedding rolled around.  They had a really bad divorce, so we were worried there would be drama.  It actually worked out well, their dates kept them occupied and happy during the reception.

    Post # 9
    374 posts
    Helper bee

    In your case, no significant anyone!  Let them both attend without dates.  I would however, give bridesmaids and groomsmen the heads up to keep their eyes on the two of them to make sure they don’t get into it at the wedding.  Just have them, whenever they see them interacting, to mosey on up and join the conversation.  Then a second attendant will join in the conversation after a short bit.  Usually when this happens, it breaks up the conversation of the two people and one of them breaks away from the conversation and the two attendants can go their merry ways.

    Also, give them the heads up about your mom.  You don’t want her hitting on anyone at the wedding.

    If this is too much for you to ask your attendants, then ask someone who you trust to be the point person to do this all evening.  If you don’t have someone, then hire someone to do this.  There may be a neighbor, work person, church person, clergy family member who isn’t invited, that you trust, that you wouldn’t normally invite to the wedding.  They may be thrilled to come and may say ‘forget about paying me.’  But you need to tell them you need to pay them because it is a professional arrangement and then you won’t worry about your folks doing anything weird at the wedding.  It’s a little different approach, but it would be worth the $100.00 or so dollars for me to pay plus the cost of their meal and drinks for my peace of mind and sanity.


    Post # 12
    25 posts
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m with some of the other brides on this one.  If your parents are seeing other people and are in a “stable” relationship, extend the +1 offer.  If they’re dating casually, talk to them directly and let them know your preference.  Your wedding day is YOUR special day.  You are not obligated to share it with strangers, and I’m sure your parents would understand your request.

    The last thing I want is to look at my wedding pictures, see photos of “that chick Dad brought to my wedding” and that be the extent of knowing who the person was.  It also proves to be awkward later when looking through the photos after the relationship has ended.

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