(Closed) Do I need to invite someone who invited me to their wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
1698 posts
Bumble bee

@newcitylights:  Welcome to the refined world of social reciprocity.

When someone invites you to something, good manners require you to respond “in kind”. You are showing a nice awareness of that social obligation.

However, “in kind” does not mean wedding-for-wedding. If it did, all the already-marrieds and never-to-be-marrieds on your invitation list would be unable to fulfil their responsibilities. No, “in kind” means dinner-for-dinner, tea-for-tea, brunch-for-brunch. And “in kind” reciprocal invitations should be paid in the same season as the original invitation. So assuming the previous bride served you dinner in 2012; and assuming you invited her to dinner, also in 2012; then your debts are paid. If not, then they’ve already been written off and subtracted from your social reputation.


Post # 5
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Invite who you want. If you don’t feel close enough to her, don’t invite her. People have various sized weddings so it’s natural that invites don’t always go both ways. 

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