(Closed) Do I need to send a gift?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I need to send a gift?
    Absolutely not : (12 votes)
    55 %
    You may want to consider sending something : (6 votes)
    27 %
    Definitely : (0 votes)
    Other: Comment below : (4 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’d just send a card. It doesn’t look like she really cares, so why should you?

    Post # 4
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Card.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    i agree to just send a congrats card!

    Post # 6
    Member
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m with the majority on this one. Just send a congratulatory card. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    A card is enough.  Just because you’re invited to a wedding does not mean you have to send a gift.

    Post # 8
    Member
    464 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    A card shoul dbe sufficent. Just because someone invites you doesnt mean you have to send them anything, but it is nice to know that you appreciate the invite (although an obvious B list invite)and wish her well. I actually dont go to weddings alot unless family, but I always send a card and some times a good gift card if I am really close to them. ( I have two kids, and they arent really “wedding trained”)

    Post # 9
    Member
    1699 posts
    Bumble bee

    Peggy Post says you have to send a gift. As near as I can tell from a certain amount of research and a long memory of correct form, this is something she just made up. It is very bad advice: the inevitable result of this bit of corruption getting into the common mindset is that guests who receive invitations from less-intimate acquaintances find themselves asking “did she just invite me in the hopes that I would send a gift, and decline the invitation, so that she profits off me without having to pay for my plate?” Let’s stop perpetuating this attitude!

    Bottom line: you should send a gift to anyone whom you love enough, that you want to contribute to their married life in a concrete and ongoing manner, and who you reasonably believe would find the gift acceptable, regardless of whether you are invited to their wedding or not. The gift celebrates the marriage, not the wedding. This does not mean that anyone should attend a wedding without having sent a gift. If you don’t love someone enough to send them a present to celebrate their marriage, you don’t love them enough to impose yourself on them at such a special time.

    If you weren’t planning to send a gift before receiving the invitation, there is no reason to send one after receiving the invitation.

     

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