- 10 years ago
Ok I’ll try to keep this short…
A friend of a friend is getting married in October. My roommate who hasn’t seen the bride and wouldn’t make an effort to hang out with her, also has the same mutual friend but met the bride in college (does that make any sense???) Anyways, basically, I have interacted with the bride a lot more over the past couple of years than my roommate, but my roommate has known her since college. My roommate got a save the date months ago and an invitation a couple of weeks ago. She also got an invitation in the mail to the bridal shower which took place a few weeks ago.
About 2 or 3 days before the bridal shower, the bride’s sister emails me saying that my shower invitation got returned to her and never made it to me (but my roommate’s made it to her weeks earlier??) and then invited me to that and the bachelorette party. Keep in mind, I had not received an invitation to this wedding. I declined the invite to the shower but went out for the some of the bachelorette party. I asked my mutual friend(who is also a BM) if she knew why I was invited to the shower and bach party when I wasn’t invited to the wedding? Apparently she contacted the bride and asked if I was invited to the wedding and said that the Maid/Matron of Honor had invited me to these events. The bride said I wasn’t invited to the wedding because it was a small venue but yes she wanted to invite me to the events and she hoped that I wasn’t mad or something. Of course I wasn’t mad, I just know that this is very poor etiquette which surprised me given how proper the bride is.
Anyways, I received a wedding invitation in the mail yesterday. I’m not super offended and don’t really want to get too much into the whole thing of I shouldn’t be offended because people have small venues etc. and can’t include everybody because I feel this situation is a bit different since I saw my roommate who is not any closer to the bride than me getting all of this stuff, and she knew that I saw that since she knows we live together.
Now to my main question. I’m not going to the wedding (it is an 8 hour drive away from me btw). I really do try to practice good etiquette but of course don’t always succeed. Anyways, I know I am supposed to send a gift, but really don’t want to spend the money. If I had plenty of money at my disposal it wouldn’t be an issue. But there are plenty of other things that I would like to spend $50 – $100 on, not to mention the fact that I have spent quite a bit of money on wedding things for the 6 weddings I’ve been in, in the past year and a half.
What to do bees???