(Closed) Do I pay for Makeup for MIL, BFF and Mum?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m paying for hair for my bridesmaids and mom, and then I’m splitting make up with girls who want it. I didn’t invite my Future Mother-In-Law for hair and makeup… or Future Sister-In-Law.

Post # 3
Member
7351 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think you should let them know that you’ve splurged for this MUA for your wedding day and that it isn’t in the budget to cover the artist’s rate for all of them, as well. I would let them know what she charges, make sure she would have time to do them on your wedding day (if she doesn’t have time it’s a moot point), and let them know the deadline for when you need to hear back from them to confirm that they would like for her to do their makeup and what the fee is for each of them. If you want to contribute toward their makeup rather than getting them a gift, you can do that.

Do not blow your budget trying to cover everyone if you don’t have the resources to do so. This is your treat for yourself and they can treat themselves as well if they would like!

Post # 4
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re not asking/making them do it, then you’re not obligated to pay. Everyone does it a bit differently so it’s up to you.

For my bridesmaids I paid for their hair since it’s hard to do fancy hair – not so much makeup. Then I gave them the option of having makeup done if they wanted to pay for it (which we established well in advance). 

Post # 6
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Do you have a good friend of family member that can do their makeup? Or could they not do it themselves? I’m a qualified make up artist (although I don’t work as one) and I did my own makeup. I asked a good friend who is good at makeup if she could do my sisters makeup (she was my only bridesmaid) as she wasn’t confident about doing her own and I didn’t have time to do hers as well as mine. My mom and Mother-In-Law both did their own makeup. 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
14159 posts
Honey Beekeeper

No, you are not at all obligated to pay for hair or makeup. You can offer it as an option and let them decide whether to pay your person, DIY, or go to their own salon or stylist.

The only thing I would say is that if you aren’t paying you can’t have it both ways and require them to get ready with you all day. They can arrive already made up and hair done for photos at a designated time. 

Post # 9
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

Definitely don’t have to pay for them! I’d lay out the prices in an email or text. 

Post # 10
Member
976 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

If you’re deciding between paying for just hair or paying for nothing at all, I’d pay for the hair. It’s going to be an awkward conversation no matter what, so it won’t be made any more awkward by lightening their burden a bit.

Post # 11
Hostess
5046 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2016

I paid for my 6 BMs, mom, and Mother-In-Law and it was not cheap.  I wanted them to get to relax and be pampered.  I think if you’re not requiring them to get it done, you don’t have to pay, but it is a nice gesture.  Maybe offer to pay for one of the two services. 

I would definitely want to know up front – depending on how you phrased it, they may assume you’re covering the cost unless you tell them the prices and let them know they are able to book a time slot if they want.  It is very common in my circle to cover hair and makeup, so I would be surprised to show up and have to pay and likely wouldn’t have cash on me unless told in advance.   

Post # 12
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee

Both of my WDILs offered, which I thought was lovely on their part.

Post # 13
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

When we got married we paid for our moms, grandmothers, maid of honour. 6 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls to get their hair done and make up, manicures and pedicures done. The flower girls didn’t get make up, manicures or pedicures.

Post # 14
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
busybee86 :  I will go against the grain and say since your mother and mother in law are contributing to the wedding and getting ready with you on the day, I would pay for their hair and makeup.

I would also pay for your bff if she has acted as a bm without the actual title – ie, gone dress shopping, planned bachelorette party etc.  If not, then I would let her know costs and leave it up to her.

If your going to pay for them, couldn’t you get a second more affordable MUA for them? In my area there are heaps on FB and they are reasonably priced.  

I had a very tight budget but paid hair and makeup for my 4bm, my sister and my step mum as we all got ready together.  My mil was getting ready with the boys so I did not pay for her.

Post # 15
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

I love the idea of getting a second, more affordable MUA. That way you can pay for their hair and make-up, which would be a thank you for everything they have done for you during the wedding process.

I would feel super guilty to make them pay for it considering that they gave you money to contribute to the wedding…

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