Do I postpone my September wedding?

posted 8 months ago in Ceremony
  • poll: To postpone or not to postpone?

    Postpone

    Wait

  • Post # 16
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee

    Cancel it. There will be no weddings in 2020… it is very naive to think otherwise.

     

    Post # 17
    Member
    571 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    supertrooper01 :  can I order your crystal ball off amazon or….? 

    I kid, but I think there are way more tactful ways to share your OPINION since you are not God and not everybody has the same pessimistic pov. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    Ellak30 :  ya its “my opinion”… coming from the WHO and the worlds best doctors, researches and leaders

    But you keep thinking weddings will happen this year let me know how that goes in December. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    supertrooper01 :  Wow, even if that turns out to be true that’s a trash POV. People who are dealing with potential/already postponed and cancelled weddings need some hope. I don’t think anything is wrong with holding out until the last minute because frankly, you don’t actually know if every single person in the world will not have a wedding as scheduled. 

    what if this happened to you the year you got married? Probably would have a very different outlook. It’s easy for you to be so negative when yours isn’t on the line. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    While supertrooper was very blunt, I do think it’s looking increasingly unlikely that any traditional weddings will take place this year. I don’t say that to be cruel, I say it because the letdown will be even more upsetting after more months of hope and planning. While my wedding wasn’t canceled, I’ve faced the loss of two huge trips (one of them a once-in-a-lifetime work opportunity) and our TTC plans, so I feel equipped to say that I understand the all-encompassing disappointment.

     

    I will say, it feels better (in a very sad way) when you make a decision. Uncertainty is hard. Canceling things is hard. This is awful, and unfair. But, there’s peace in moving forward, and months of uncertainty paired with hope and then ultimately being let down, is even worse than the plan B. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m moving my 31st May wedding to the 23rd August.  I’m in the UK.  If it comes to August and we can’t do the big do we will either move it again or get married anyway and have the party afterwards.  It sucks but we can only hope and pray. I still refuse to say my wedding is postponed because it does just feel like pulling the trigger on my dreams but at the end of the day, we can’t help this situation at all (apart from following government guidelines) praying for you to find peace, I know I’m struggling xx 

    Post # 22
    Member
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    In the UK, to marry you need an officiant, two witnesses, a bride & a groom.  Everything else is optional from the legal point of view.  Having said that, there is a lot that probably isn’t optional from the personal view of the bride & groom!

    What you need to do is to sit down with your fiance and work out which bits of your wedding are optional and which are not for you – that is going to be very different for each couple.  The more you are prepared to let go of, the more likely it is that your wedding will be able to take place in September.

    If you want a big wedding, with everything happening exactly as you dreamed, then you really need to look at postponing until later.  If you’d rather let some of the details go and keep your original wedding date, then wait.  The current plan is not for a total lockdown for months but for this kind of lockdown to alternate with social distancing measures.  So there is every chance that weddings might be able to take place later this summer, although they probably won’t look like ‘traditional’ weddings.

    If you decide to go ahead with this, there is a lot you can do online or by phone to prepare.  

    Post # 23
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    supertrooper01 :  Can you cite your source of information for that  confirmation you are 100 percent sure about please? Nobody knows for sure right now including the WHO. If so, we would all have the answers and not have the fear of unknown. In Canada, social events are cancelled until June 30 then they will re-evaluate. I’m not saying you could be wrong in the future but right now, no one knows the answer to that unless you cite otherwise. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    7397 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I can’t say one way or another for the UK, but here in the US I don’t think you’d find your vendors are going to be open to postponing fall weddings just yet. Is the liklihood this thing is going to be cleared up by fall? Probably not. That being said we honestly just have no idea. In my experience as a vendor, most of us are only working on postponing through June right now. I can speak for myself and most of my fellow vendors that we’re doing everything we can to work with our couples in regards to postponing and rescheduling to later dates, even if that means letting them have 2021 dates (which keep up from new bookings) but you likely won’t get any money back if you flat out cancel. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d wait to see how the situation evolves before postponing but it depends on whether this date is important to you. Our wedding is in October and we’re still keeping it for this reason. If it would be OK for you to get married on a different date, maybe December is a good option to avoid the spring/summer of 2021, which will be super popular.

    Post # 26
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee

    I wouldn’t cancel now – noone really knows how the situation will evolve. But I wouldn’t announce a new date for 2021 because here in Europe we were told that the situation might be better in  summer/fall but get worse again during the flu season next winter without any vaccine available and new restrictions will be necessary. 

    2 weeks ago here in Austria all weddings had to be cancelled. A few days ago the government decided that civil or church weddings are possible with not more than 5 attendants (officiant/priest, bride, groom and 2 witnesses). If I wanted to get married this year I would choose a date for such a small legal ceremony whenever it is possible and have the party/church wedding when EVERYTHING is over. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    11 posts
    Newbee

    My wedding was originally in July, last week I moved everything to October. I felt so lucky that all of my vendors were available for one new date. But now, im afraid I will have to postpone again. My parents are high risk. My step mok, who I view as a actual mom has a illness that has no cure. Im afraid to move it to next year, and she might not be able to come. I understand your situation and you are not alone.

    Post # 28
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m so sorry, Bee. I really feel for you, as I’m currently in the exact same position and I know how difficult it is to sort through both sides of things. I’m scheduled for the beginning of August and feel relatively confident that I could likely still host my wedidng then, if I wanted to. People in the United States keep talking about how things should open back up some time in May/June/July and that then I can just get back into it with no problem. What they don’t realize is that (with the exception of menus) I still have to do everything you listed in your post and work out all the rentals for furniture on top of it.

    So yes, I view it as possible to still do, but I keep having to ask myself whether I think that’s really what I want. And while this isn’t a novel perspective, I think that’s really what you have to work out for yourself. At the end of the day, what are you going to be happier with? A possible wedding on your original date with the knowledge you may have a lot of scrambling to do, or rescheduling to a new date you may not like as much but that will possibly give you more peace of mind?

    No one can answer this for you, as I’m sure you know, and that absolutely sucks. I wish someone could just tell us all what to do. That being said, I just wanted to make sure you know that you’re not alone and that no matter what things come down to, your wedding day is going to be beautiful and special. If you need anyone to talk to about the nitty gritty details or frustrations, I’m here and more than happy to listen or lend out opinions. I’m wishing you all the best and a bit of internal peace on this matter soon.

    Post # 29
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    View original reply
    peach11 :  i think better safe than sorry. I would postpone , People will not feel safe going to a large gathering in September. This virus is unpredictable and i would take caution in this if i were in your shoes. I would at least get in touch with the venue and have them give you dates that are available for next year. I am so sorry you are going through this 

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