- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Planning my wedding is turning into a nightmare, mostly because of my mother. Keep in mind, she is not paying for anything. The one thing she offered to pay for was my veil, which she has since decided against. My fiance and are paying for everything from the invitations, dress, decor, location, rehersal dinner to the honeymoon 100% by ourselves.
Right after I got engaged my mother decided that she wanted to make the bridesmaid’s dresses. She never asked me and I never agreed. I said “well, I guess that might be an option.” Then for the next two weeks she called me at least four times a day to talk about the dresses fit and color. All of my bridesmaids have very different body types, and two are on the hefty side, so she was determined to make them all have different dresses. We went and looked at patterns and material and I didn’t really see anything I was super excited about. She picked out a pattern that had a long gown and a full length, long sleeved, collared jacket over the top of it. It was reaaallly ugly. Plus, I am having a summer wedding. I politely said I didn’t like that pattern. She got defensive and mean and said, “I guess I just can’t help you at all. You know what you want. Just tell me the time and day of the wedding and I’ll see you there. Maybe.” I tried to reassure her that there were plenty of things that I would need help on, but that making bridesmaids dresses really wasn’t one of them. I also told her that I did indeed have my own ideas for the wedding, and really wanted her help to make sure that they were realized. That was a week ago and she has cooled down some, but not much.
My fiance and i registered at Bed Bath and Beyond and Target. We pretty much know what we want and found it all at those two stores. My mother is insisting that we register at Penney’s and Macy’s because she “knows guests who always go to those places to buy wedding gifts and they just won’t shop at where you registered.”
And then there is the f*&#^ing tent!!!!!!!!!! I want an outdooor wedding. We live in Montana. The average July temperature is 75 degrees. But my mother inisists that we need a freaking tent to cover the guests who can’t stand the heat. I loathe the look of a tent. Plus its darn expensive, not in our wedding budget, and I have never ever been to an outdoor wedding that had a tent. But my momther says that without the idiotic tent, she and my grandmother will not attend the ceremony. Also, she told my sister that she was actually hoping I would just move the whole ceremony indoors… to her church. Not my church. Not a venue of my choice. Her church. And that she was hoping my fiance and I would become members so that her pastor could officiate.
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated and angry about all of this. Do any of you have experience with momzilla? Or a mom who acts like she is two years old and pouts if she doesn’t get to make the final decision? Or a mom who tries to manipulate and guilt trip you into doing something you dont want? How do I handle this? Speaking to her nicely and explaining that I want her involved but not running the show doesn’t work. I have tried assigning specific tasks to her and that hasn’t seemed to help either.
Also, what do I do about the darn tent? Have my dream outdoor wedding, compromise and fork out doe for an ugly tent, or move the whole blasted thing inside?