Post # 1
I am not very close to my dad’s side of the family so for my wedding I just invited the aunts and uncles. There are 14 cousins +SO. I haven’t talked to any of them in probably 10 years, and I honestly couldn’t even name a few of them.
I am very close to my mom’s side so I invited aunts, uncles, and first cousins.
My Fiance has a very small extended family so all aunts, uncles, and first cousins are invited.
My mom thinks that I should invite my dad’s side because they will “feel bad” if I don’t. Inviting them would mean uping our guest list 20ish people. All of our vendors are expected 75ish. And again, I don’t even know them that well. I would rather invite friends I am close with instead of inviting “family” just because they are family.
I feel bad but I don’t know, anyone else had to make a decision like this?
Post # 3
I don’t think you have to invite them. It’s obvious that you’re not close. I agree – you shouldn’t have to invite them because they’re family or they might “feel bad.” It’s your wedding – and I don’t think you’re committing a huge etiquette breach by leaving them out.
Confession: I have 20-some cousins on my mom’s side. I invited about 3/4 of them. Some of them I couldn’t even remember their names.
Post # 4
I don’t think you should invite them. I am close with 3 of my mom’s female cousins, but not their brother so I invited the sisters but not the brother. I’m sure it was awkward and I probably should have invited him but I haven’t talked to him in years. I told my mom “I guarantee that when I send him the card saying “ME & HUSBAND are inviting you to their wedding” he’d say “who the hell are they?”
Post # 5
My family’s really close we see each other every sunday but there some outcast cousins who never made an effort to be part of the family (being honest they look down on us), so it was not a surprise when one of those cousins got married and didn’t invite us cousins to her wedding. Not being close to her we didn’t really care but everytime someone mentions it she’s severely critiziced (even people who don’t know the entire story) cause everyone feels is just rude. Some people even chose not to go as a protest.
You should be able to have whomever you want at your wedding specially if space and money are an issue. If you’re not close to them (10 years is a freakisly long time) I don’t see a problem, just be ready cause a los of people like to talk.
Post # 6
Your wedding. Invite who you want. That simple.
I had to invite some family members that I’m not super close with, but only because my parents were paying for half of the wedding.
Post # 7
The guest list is definitely the toughest part. I’m inviting some family that I easily haven’t seen in decades, but my parents are also chipping in financially, so I feel like I don’t have as much say. It’s something to consider if your parents are contributing financially. However, if you’re paying for the wedding yourself – you invite who you want there!
Post # 8
I agree that you shouldn’t have to invite them if you aren’t close to them. Your wedding day is a time when you should be surrounded by people who love you and are excited to witness a special event. If you don’t think these people would care if they were invited, then don’t.
Post # 9
It depends on who is paying for the wedding. If you’re mom is payng and she wants you to invite them, then they get invited. If you’re paying for the wedding, I think it is entirely fair to say “We are paying $XXX per head. If you want to invite them, you can pay for it” at which point she can determine how important it is to her that they attend.