(Closed) Do I say anything?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not sure what type of relationship you have with your dad, but if this is starting to be a serious issue for you then you need to be up front with him. If it was my father I would (politely) mention it to him. Maybe he has more info about the situation that you don’t know about?

Either way it sounds like this woman needs to know that her attitude is not welcome. I can’t believe someone would make YOUR wedding day all about them.

I hope you can resolve this situation. The best advice I can give is for you to just be calm and respectful when addressing the situation. If you can show your dad that you are being mature about it then maybe he will see her actions as immature and be able to see where you are coming from? He would be the best fix for the problem considering it’s his relationship.

Good luck!

Post # 4
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@casteel_dream: Absolutely something needs to be said. I’m not sure how I should advise you to go about it. There are a few ways:

1. Talk to your father. Let him know that you want him to be happy in his relationship, but anyone in that relationship needs to understand that he has a child/children and there are going to be family events. If she doesn’t want to attend for any reason, or can’t behave herself, then she will get left behind.

2. Talk to her with your father and your husband present. Let her know that you did not appreciate her behavior. Both sides of the family have been nothing but warm and open-armed and her behavior will not, under any circumstances be tolerated. (Make sure your tone indicates that this is not really a discussion and it is not up for debate. If you say it matter of fact and even toned, the men usually won’t intervene, but I have a feeling you’ll want witnesses.) Give her an example of how your in-laws tried to engage her and she was rude to them.

3. Talk with her in private.  Just let her have it.

Post # 5
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with RobynB.  Whatever route you choose regarding a discussion, I think the words ‘completely unacceptable’ should be used to label her behavior.  I’ve found they really hammer the point home.

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