- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Since getting engaged, my BFF since high school has been hot and cold over the whole thing. I know she’s happy for me in theory, but in reality, she says and does things that are really hurtful.
Background info that may be useful – we decided to have the wedding in Scotland because that is where FI’s parents are and they are not well enough to travel. If we wanted his parents there, it had to be in Scotland. as for our friendship, we talk about once a week on the phone and see each other about once a year. We are both 38.
When we first starting planning, we contacted those people we knew we wanted to attend to see how they felt about having the wedding in Scotland (could they get time off, could they afford it). BFF told me that yes, she can afford it but doesn’t want to. That there are a ton of other things that she would rather do with that money, like redo her kitchen or go somewhere on vacation that she would actually want to go (She’s been tomscotalnd and thought it was boring). While logically I understand her point, it really hurt that she had no interest in attending my wedding and was pissed off I’d even ask her to. So she basically said, I’ll see but don’t count on it.
When planning the shower and bachelorette, I sent ther the dates. Since she likely won’t be at the wedding, I wanted to include her in these. It would still include a flight from Kentucky to DC, but that’s better than Scotland. I also said I totally understood if she couldn’t attend either and it was her call. She said she’d ove to attend the bachelorette and would come for a few days so we could hang out.
A friend of hers got married in September. For the two weeks leading up to it, she bitched about the bachelorette. Bride originally wanted a nice dinner and then going to a bar to have a few drinks. BFF didn’t want to do this. Been there, done that on the bar thing. She was also pissed that it would cost around $150. She then convinced everyone to basically have a sleepover and hang out at home and drink wine and have palm readings.
For my bachelorette, I’m not sure what we’re doing yet, but it won’t be crazy. No strippers, no out of town trip. Since I live in VA wine country, we’ll probably do a winery tour.
so on Facebook today (I know, all the crap starts on FB), she wrote a status update and another friend was talking about planning a visit and how BFF needs to come to DC.
BFF then posted this: I hadn’t even thought of this – I have to go to my high school best friend’s bachelorette (I know) weekend in July! And she’s in the DC area! (The thought of us getting together makes this trip so much more fun-sounding to me! I mean, I love my HS BFF, but… dude, the whole bachelorette thing? yeah, not so much.) I will get in touch in July! We shall have a cocktail or two and it will be grand!!!
this hurt. She is under no obligation to come to anything. And she put it right there on FB where anyone could see it – including me. It wasn’t even a PM or anything. I guess it stings even more as she called last night and we spent over an hour talking about the wedding (I tried to change topics a few times, she kept coming back to wedding stuff).
do I say something??? If so, what??